Now this is what we call a welcome back party.
While Barbara Walters' first day back (and The View's 14th season premiere) only formally had one star billing in the form of David Letterman's first-ever appearance on the program, that didn't stop producers from surprising her with quite the star-studded welcome wagon.
David Beckham, Justin Bieber, Elton John, Mayor Michael Bloomberg, Helen Mirren, Martha Stewart, Jada Pinkett Smith and David Spade joined the festivities, appearing in a video message welcoming home the talk-show doyenne.
As for Letterman, who seems to now be the go-to guest for fellow post-op hosts (see: Regis Philbin), he welcomed Barbara back with a hug, kiss and probably too-close inspection of her valve replacement scar.
But what do you expect from someone Walters lovingly referred to as her "heartthrob" throughout the program?
And it wasn't long before the duo began comparing battle scars.
"I had coronary artery disease, you just blew out a valve," Letterman said, to which Walters countered, "I have a pig valve, you don't have a pig valve."
"No, but I have other pig parts on me," he replied.
They also discussed the symptoms they felt leading up to their operations…well, one of them did, anyway.
"Looking back on it, I don't know if I had specific heart-related symptoms, but I knew for a couple of years before the surgery, I thought country music was getting worse," Letterman joked. "But I don't know if that's a symptom exactly."
They also discussed the importance of getting an angiogram, which Letterman explained thusly: "They take a thing and run it up your deal…Fantastic."
Letterman took his usual stance of breaking out the Leno impression and noting that "it was fun to see Jay squirm," but also said that he would be among the Team CoCo fans tuning in when Conan debuts on TBS this fall.
"I will watch it, I've always liked Conan."
Not so Jon Stewart, at least not until he stops beating the Late Show at the Emmys. When asked if the Daily Show's domination bugged him, Letterman jokingly replied, "Yes, it does."
"I'd like to kill the little bastard."
As for the real reason why he was there, to commiserate on heart surgeries, Letterman said that the operation was not nearly as debilitating as some people may think.
"It's not so much what you're not gonna do anymore, it's what you can do now," he said. "It was looking forward more than it was looking backward."
And what Letterman is looking forward to now is the possibility—should the ever-forgiving Mrs. Letterman agree—to more kids.
"I feel in every important way, your life doesn't really begin until you've had kids. I would like to have more kids."
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