Heroes vs. Villains is shaping up to be a battle royal, complete with king, queen and court jester. So who's the real ruler? And who was sent to the scaffold? For all this—plus inside scoop on the slain jury members' temporary cribs—come on in, guys!
Off with her head!
The Villains unanimously (et tu, Sandra?!) voted off Courtney, even though Parvati said, "I feel like I can keep Courtney in check more than I can keep Sandra." Ya think? Wouldn't it be more prudent to vote out someone who already won the game? Big mistake, Villains.
History Lesson: J.T. is making "Survivor history" all right. Only instead of a million-dollar check, his name will top the Survivor Wall of Shame, alongside his burn-after-reading love letter to Russell. James and Erik are destined to be footnotes in the annals of Immunity Idol idiocy after this.
High Steaks: Did cattleman J.T. leave his brain back at the ranch? He might as well be Parvati batting his eyelashes at Russell. How could the Survivor champion make such a monumental mistake? In addition to handing their opponents a dinner at the Product Placement Steakhouse, the Heroes tribe invented a nonexistent Villains all-girl alliance—J.T. even bet his life on it (I don't think he values his life enough, especially when it comes to gambling)—and played the fool to King Russell. Instead of offering His Highness a little frankincense or maybe some myrrh, J.T. sacrificed his Immunity Idol—worth more than gold in this game.
The Queen P: Now we know for certain who's really in charge. If Russell had found the second hidden Immunity Idol at camp, he would have run straight to Parvati with it—and probably brag about it to the rest of his tribemates. With her quiet power, Queen Parvati is virtually "running a crazy women's alliance" while "the king does what the queen says."
WHO WILL GET VOTED OFF NEXT?
Looks like J.T.'s still wearing his crazy buff next week—but will his tribe's resentment even matter? With two idols, the Villains will rule—if they are still a cohesive unit: Alliances formed before the game might trump tribal loyalty. And if there's an Immunity Challenge, three idols are up for grabs at Tribal Council. It's going to be epic, and I'm too dizzy to even venture a guess. Only one thing's for certain: Parvati's Survivor reign will surpass 100 days.
Who can forget Courtney's parting words when she wrote Coach's name down last week? "You're a fricking lunatic," she proclaimed. "I'm just glad I don't have to live with you anymore." Wrong! The skinny chick is headed for some quality one-on-one time with her foe at Ponderosa, the camp where the jury members stay until the final vote.
While the early castoffs hole up in a fancy resort for the duration, the jury's accommodations are on the rustic side. At least they have roofs over their heads and some of their own personal belongings and clothes (did you see Coach's samurai Hugh Hefner getup?) that they select before the game. And they get regular meals! Shortly after they are voted off, one former Castaway tells me, they are rewarded with their favorite foods, which they specified before the game.
I wonder if anyone requested a blooming onion?
What would you like to feast on after weeks of deprivation? Chew on that in the comments—and predict who'll join Coach and Courtney at the mess hall next in our poll!