AP Photo/Ric FeldGadzooks, there were a lot of questions this week. If yours wasn't answered, we are sorry. Please rephrase it and try again later. Let us fritter away no more time ensconsed in the wilds of this opening paragraph than is absolutely necessary and progress on to the heart of the beast. Did we mix enough metaphors in there to fill our quota? Good.
Hahaha asks: are there really people in the studio while The Soup is filming?
Yes, there’s Joel McHale, obviously. Also, The Soup’s writers and staff, a cameraperson, Tom the stage manager, Tom the lawyer, Jose and Mathias who are responsible for Joel’s wardrobe, makeup and hair, some E! employees, their friends and, let’s see... that’s about it. Oh, and every single person who ever emails us about wanting to be in the audience, of course.
Whyamievenbothering asks: how do you find all those weird commercials? at first i thought you just make them up but then i saw that commerical with those disgusting feet pads.....seriously, how do you find those commericials so quickly?
We have a very dedicated staff that sifts through several hours of mind-dissolving television each day, including all of the commercials. Amazingly, even though this is public knowledge, we still get requests like the following:
shannon_siders asks: Does THE SOUP offer internship positions?
Not officially. But if you want to fill our coffee orders twice a day, we certainly won’t stop or reimburse you.
Darcyperdu asks: Dear Joel, What's with the on-again off-again status of your facial hair? Personally, I like you shaved, but you gotta stick to something man!
That’s not just facial hair Darcyperdu; it’s how Joel sends messages back home without his captors knowing. Clean shaven = being treated well, while hairy = don’t tell me how Iron Man ends, I haven’t seen it yet.
condensedsoup12 asks: i would lv for joel mchale to appear in his underwear on the show for about 10 seconds! would he really do that! he is hottt!
You have no idea how much work it takes just to keep Joel’s clothes on him. He’s worse than a 3-year old. If he had his way, he’d do the entire show in his underpants, sitting in a sandbox, licking an ice cream cone and playing with his trucks.
Briannas asks: can u give out joel mchales email
Of course. joellovesbriannas@foreverandever.com.
DOESJOELANSWERANYOFTHESEQUESTIONS asks: DOES JOEL ANSWER ANY OF THESE QUESTIONS HIMSELF?
The caps-lock button is located on the left side of your keyboard, between shift and tab. (Hey, remember that one from a couple of weeks back? It’s still hilarious!)
Answer? No. Read? Sometimes. Acknowledge the existence of? Grudgingly.
bulldog96601 asks: i dont have a question, i just think that joel is the BEST! Today is my birthday and my mom got me a soup t-shirt and i LOVE IT! PLEASE WRITE BACK, JOEL!! IF YOU CAN
Sorry, that we’re not Joel but here’s a happy birthday from us anyway, if you can use it. If not, send the T-shirt back and we’ll refund the purchase price.
mzamab1206 asks: i was wondering if joel could be a guest on chelsey lately..you two are the best and funniest hosts on E!..seacrest sucks!
It does seem like a good idea, mzamab1206, except for one thing: Joel and Chuy don’t really see eye to eye! Get it? (Chuy, who appears as a regular sidekick to Chelsea Handler, is very short and Joel is very tall. Therefore they would have difficulty putting their eyes on a level plain. It’s also a play on an idiom which means “not able to get along.” Feel free to write if you need further clarification on this or any other Soup Blog material.)
Machoby asks: on the June 2 episode of the Late Show with David Letterman, he ran his regular segment of "great moments in presidential speeches" where he made fun of President Bush for mispronouncing "drought." He pronounced it "drouth" which is actually a word meaning the same thing as drought. from Dictionary.com: "Drought and drouth, nouns derived from the adjective dry plus a suffix, are spellings that represent two phonetic developments of the same Old English word, and are pronounced [drout] and [drouth] respectively." The latter pronunciation, therefore, is not a mispronunciation of drought.
Every once in a while, due to specific weather patterns, we end up with some of David Letterman’s runoff emails.
Confidential to AntonFigg_Fan22: Yes, he has received your photograph and he’s interested. Very interested.
cmaz8 asks: this is not a question,,,this is a must see...do you think you can dance,,no but my name is kourtni lind and I feel everything as mom advises,,,ergo smashing my head on the ground and losing a tooth as seen on tv...to the right of my head....laughed our butts off...gotta use this funny stuff
Yes, you were right, cmaz8. That was not a question. Other things it was not: coherent, rational, lucid or sane.
Spicysami asks: dude, you should make fun of hillary clinton! that would br tottaly asowme!
We try to stay away from political material as that’s more under the aegis of The Daily Show, but the next time the distinguished senator from New York appears on Celebracadbra, we’ll be sure to nail her to the wall.
bettykate asks: I have a giant crush on Mankini and miss seeing him. Is he still around? If not, where can I find more of him? (Not more of him as wearing less than a bikini, more of him as in other things he does.)
You could read this previous post to try and divine his secret location from any of the National Treasure-like clues hidden deep within the accompanying text and images, or just wake him up any night of the week, on the sidewalk outside the R Bar.
cyrus-cucks asks: Where's mankini???? Where's the dancing maxi pad???? where is bipolar berry???? where's the running prostitute???? WHERE IS EVERYBODY????!!!
Can’t stop staring at all the question marks...getting sleepy...eyes very heavy...
flix.chick asks: I need my Joel Fix! When are you gonna have full episodes of The Soup online? I'm dying here without any cable hook up and the clips leave me feeling more teased than the hair and makeup stations backstage at the CMT awards!
Get ready for satisfaction because, guess what? You can already watch entire episodes online via iTunes. Yes, it will cost you a dollar or whatever every time, but what else are you going to spend those frog skins on? Charity? Bah!
Jojothemerman asks: when is the soup gonna be on DVD! I wanna be able to watch it whenever.
The Soup on DVD will probably never happen as we’d not only have to wrangle all new legal rights for each specific clip, but we’d also have to figure out payment issues which would be a huge hassle not to mention terribly expensive and deathly boring to keep talking about here. Your best bet is to close your eyes and quietly think to yourself, “Joel... Joel... Joel...” until 10:00 Friday rolls around.
Richz asks: How come the clip of the week intro with Lou has been changed? If you changed it to appease some PETA crap or some d***holes without a sense of humor, I will have lost a lot of respect for one of my favorite shows. Put it back. I am not the only one who thinks this was a really weak modification.
You know, we kind of suspected we might upset some fans of castration when we changed that Lou clip, but it wasn’t our decision. This may seem strange to nonshowbiz insiders, but the Clip of the Week opening has always been determined by whoever is currently hosting The Price Is Right. Once Bob Barker left, the reins were passed on to Drew Carey, who apparently, loves nail salons and Mission: Impossible parodies. Similarly, the Chat Stew graphic was created as a tribute to the former star of Growing Pains, Alan Thicke.
slurpie_pie asks: i met kim kardashian once and i told her i only knew who she was because she had a big ass and a sex tape and she looks at me like she's shocked and i said "what, don't you watch the soup?" and she says "joel mchale is a delusional person that has sick comedy. the sex tape was my decision. leave me alone" what do you say to that?
We’d say that was an inappropriate question to ask someone through an Arby’s drive-thru speaker. Incidentally, how did she enjoy her Bacon Beef ‘n' Cheddar?
jcardoso02 asks: hi joel even though you probably will never read this i honestly hope that you would come to tulsa ,oklahoma to do a show . I lived in california two years ago until my husband was transfer to tulsa, okahoma . I hate it here because nobody good comes to this crapy ass state. with this said i hope you would consider tulsa, oklahoma.
Your sales technique could stand a little refinement there, jcardoso02. The fact of the matter is that Joel will perform anywhere as long as there's a paycheck, an audience and tornadic conditions. (That's where he gets his power from. Shhh...)
lizzy_john asks: Is joel married
Is Joel married...yes. Yes, lizzy_john, Joel is married and has been for several years now. Check out his bio here. Hey, you know who isn’t married? Clog Narter! And yet, no one ever asks us to appear on TV in our underpants. No one ever asks for our autographed photo. No one ever tells us that they love us. Ever. How do you think that makes us feel, huh? Pretty low. Pretty low, indeed. Hey, we’re not so bad-looking...in a certain light. OK, sure, we’ll never be mistaken for a Greek god, but we’ll also never be mistaken for a convection oven, you know? What we’re trying to get at here is that we just want to be objectified, too. Not a lot. But a little bit. Would that really kill you? Just to say, “Hey, Clog Narter, I like the way you move that stuff.” Try it. It feels all right, doesn’t it? Come on. Someone make me feel like a human being. Comments section is right there. Just saying.
Tilatequilaislaughable asks: does The Soup have an official website?
Le sigh.