Taylor Lautner spent the last year all pumped and primped within an inch of his girlie gym-body tummy, but to what end? We went on a mission to discover if all that sweat will finally pay off in his next Twilight appearance alongside the gal he so doesn't deserve, Kristen Stewart.
We demanded to know just how love-tingling Eclipse, due this summer, may or may not be (we actually may be seeing it shortly).
Super plugged-in source Deep Twi responded:
"It's more about the fight scenes. They're awesome; it's what it's all about."
Like idiots, Taryn and I inquired about this grave matter with great hope, since Breaking Dawn, we're still assured, will be "very" sexy and "much more" emotionally romantic between stars Robert Pattinson and Stewart.
As to whether or not Lautner provides K.Stew with some more ab-perfect battling for her R.Pattz allegiance in Eclipse, we were told:
"No, it's even more action than New Moon, that's where the tension is between them all."
Damn those Mormons. They're always causing such problems. Stephenie Meyer, who's still watching the fantastically successful baby she created like a sexually repressed hawk, is constantly swooping in and asserting her wait-until-marriage sex thing. This has got to stop.
"She's still a creative consultant," another Twi insider relayed to us. "Everything goes by her."
Translation: No bumping uglies—or anything remotely close—transpires until Edward and Bella are properly united in Breaking Dawn. So not fair. Not to mention preposterously ridiculous. Could you imagine if Miley Cyrus had been cast as Bella instead of Kristen? Exactly.
Still, guess the good news is that B.D., in all it's church-sanctioned matrimonial nooky, will be a celluloid treat for all of us who just can't wait for Rob and Kris—I mean Edward and Bella—to finally get it on.
I mean, how much horny longing and moping can fans of romantic movies take?
It's torture, nothing less!
Eclipse is just around the corner, but you can take a peek now in our Total Eclipse gallery.