Jeb Bush is a very serious Republican presidential candidate. He's in the very first debate tomorrow. He speaks out against women's issues. He even has a very fancy campaign logo that doesn't look anything like anything like that of a talk show or an off-brand soda.
And what do serious presidential candidates do? Why, they set up a campaign store, of course! It's a great way not only to raise funds, but also to provide your adoring public with awesome memorabilia and useful household items. The former Florida governor's just launched, and it's chock full of all the requisite collectibles. There's a Jeb 2016! coffee mug. There's a Jeb 2016! barbecue apron. There's even a "My Dad is the greatest man I've ever known" T-shirt, because why not.
But the treasured items don't end there! We've almost left out the best product of all: a guacamole bowl. You know, like the thing chain Mexican restaurants use to mash up your overpriced avocados right at your table. But that's not all this guacamole bowl is...it's a $75 guacamole bowl.
According to the website, this kitchen utensil costs so much not because it is made of gold or because it morphs into an actual professional chef who will make your guacamole for you, but because it's a (cheap replica) of a Jeb Bush family heirloom. As the description states, "Jeb and Columba love whipping up guacamole on Sunday Funday. Now, you can get in on the act with this 'Guaca Bowle.' Jeb's secret guacamole recipe not included...yet."
Wow. Sure, $75 may seem like a lot to pay for an item that can be bought for approximate 1/10 of the cost at Target, but it's actually a downright bargain when you think about it. After all, can you really put a price on Sunday Funday? No you cannot.
But unfortunately for Jeb, it seems that America may not be properly valuing its Sunday Fundays. They are, to put it blandly, a little riled up about this sale.
"I love guacamole and Jeb Bush. I just don't want people to know I support him!" https://t.co/j49yOKTTAr— Joey Hack (@Lawcomic) August 5, 2015
JEB BUSH: After the success of my $75 guacamole bowl, I'd like to introduce the official Jeb Bush sombrero available on my website for $800.— Dumb Idiot Riley Fox (@riley_fox) August 5, 2015
You could get a Hillary Clinton throw pillow, 2 coozies and 20 temporary tattoos for the price of the Jeb Bush guacamole bowl.— Jason Noble (@jasonnobleDMR) August 5, 2015
This Jeb Bush "Guaca Bowle" is also available at The Dollar Store. I know because I bought three for college fiestas: http://t.co/oDX7AMG5fx— Sara Jerde (@SaraJerde) August 5, 2015
We haven't seen this much national outrage over avocados since the New York Times Guacamle-Gate of 2015. Let's just hope for Jeb's health and safety that his "secret recipe" doesn't include peas.