Caitlyn Jenner was nervous for many reasons prior to taking the stage at the ESPYs, but her biggest fear didn't have to do with making her first official public appearance; it had to do with reading her speech.
Jenner, who was awarded the Arthur Ashe Courage Award at this year's event, opened up on WhoSay as part of her on-going series, The Real Me, about everything regarding the awards show, from getting glam courtesy of Donatella Versace to finally making her nerve-wracking speech. But as someone who grew up with dyslexia, she knew it wasn't going to be easy.
"As a dyslexic kid, my biggest fear in life was to go in front of the class and read because I just wasn't very good at it — and that stays with you through your whole life," she explains in her essay. "I practiced, and practiced, and practiced, and practiced to make sure I'd nail it."
No matter how it turned out, however, she knew that her night would be wonderful no matter what because she was overcoming her biggest fears all while having the support of her family in the audience.
"There's a great line that I heard a long time ago: 'Success is not measured by heights attained but by obstacles overcome.' For me to go out in front of a group like that and to do the whole thing off of the teleprompter was huge," she writes.
Although her speech left the crowd awe-struck and her children couldn't have been more proud, Jenner writes that she had a tough time looking at them from the stage because she still worries about causing them pain.
"The toughest part in the speech was my kids," she admits. "It was hard to look over there and see all of my children. As I said in the speech, I don't want to hurt anybody. I just want to be myself. I barely got through that."
With a speech that left everyone awe-struck, Jenner could walk off stage knowing that she was a hit! She even managed to avoid tripping in her Versace gown. "All of my family and friends — oh, it was such a relief because it was over. I could relax at the party. It was just a wonderful moment," she writes.
But when Jenner decided to leave the party early to go home to watch the awards show in its entirety, she found it a "little difficult" to watch because of her voice. She hopes, however, that people will focus more on the content of her messages than the sound of them.
"It's not quite right compared to my feminine appearance," she confesses. "That bothers me a little bit. However, I hope that people don't listen to the pitch of my voice, but listen to what I have to say. That's important to me."
Tune in to the premiere of I Am Cait on Sunday, July 26, at 8 p.m., only on E!