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Jennifer Aniston

Andreas Rentz/Getty Images

Dear Ted:
Jennifer Aniston
! Jennifer Aniston! Jennifer Aniston! It's amazing what that name can do for you. It's like all of a sudden people start talking about Jen when they have something to promote. Bradley Cooper somehow felt the need to talk about her for the 100th time. We heard you the first time Cooper. And then George Clooney's flavor of the season retweets something about Jen, claiming to not know what a retweet implies. Then Gemma Arterton takes a jab at Jennifer's filmography. Doesn't she realize Jen has been in the business longer than she's been alive? And Friends alone would put to shame everything Gemma has done. Prince of Persia was very disappointing, and I only saw it for Jake. And lets not forget Us Weakly desperately trying to start something between Brooklyn Decker and Aniston. Plus, they make it obvious they are on the Brangelina payroll. Can't they just leave the woman alone?

Dear Jen's the Word:
Easy, babe. Jen's in the tabloids just about every day, so celebs know that if they chat about the super A-list chick, they've got a pretty good chance of seeing their name in a headline. And the tabs know that people love reading about Jen. But don't worry—doesn't bother Aniston, trust.

Dear Ted:
I know many have come to K.Stew's defense, saying the paps went too far and they should let her have privacy, but I have to disagree. I mean you can Google "celebs on their balconies" and get plenty of pics. It's not like this is the first time this has been done, so why do people always get so horrified when it happens to her? When it comes to paps, no one gets special treatment. Everyone suffers their presence. Plenty of other young, just-want-to-act stars handle the situation pretty well. Like our beloved R.Pattz. If anyone in the Twi cast gets more quality time with the paps than Kristen, it's him. I've never seen him let loose the finger. He's so simple about it. Gets where he need to go, and gets home. Mission accomplished. Of course it's annoying, but like the perfect star, he brushes it off 'cause he knows what he wants and what he's doing, and he's not gonna let all that distract him.

Dear Paparazzi Control:
Rob isn't that innocent, babe. He's got a whole different way to deal with the paparazzi.

Dear Ted:
I saw Nikki Reed's mention of still being besties with Kristen and that Kristen even helped her move. I just don't really buy that—it doesn't seem like a Kristen thing to do. Is this a Summit PR push to make them seem like one happy family?

Dear BF…F?
I certainly wouldn't say the girl's are besties, but they're not at each other's throats either. They're both professional ladies who know how to work together—whether that means putting on a smile for the camera or not.

Dear Ted:
Since you have recently said Secretia Ohio is not Claire Danes, could she be Mariah Carey?

Dear Oh Hi Ohio:
Nope, Secretia and her beau are far more believable as a couple—which is why they keep their secret so well.

Dear Ted:
In your super expert opinion, do Judas Jack-Off's and Dashed Dingle-Dream's beards know exactly what is going on, or do they entertain the notion that they might, uh, share?

Dear Det. Brainy:
Those beards are as hopeful as they are crafty, rest assured.

Dear Ted:
What was insulting to Muslims in SATC 2? I understand the problems with the film, but I really don't buy the Muslim thing. I think it's more of a bully aspect of online critiquing. The series is about women and their position in a society, and even though I disagree with the whole trip they are naturally going to notice these body coverings and in no way insulted them, they were just observing with respect. As for the women in the dresses, well dude, it's a comedy and it showed the women respecting their society while being individuals. And characters donning religious garb to hide from something is not new. Whoopie as a nun, disrespectful? No. But lets all gang up on Carrie and Co. 'cause it's cool.

Dear Desert Storm:
Sorry, the movie made it seem like the American SATC gals were merely slumming it in misogynistic luxury while the women who lived there full-time were stuck envying and worshipping Western culture only from afar.

Dear Ted:
You've posted several Blind Vices that are specifically named as being Twilight saga stars. But I'm wondering, have any of the Twilight actors starred in Blind Vice posts where you didn't mention them as being part of the Twi films?

Dear Blind Sided:
Of course, babe. That cast is très naughty.

Dear Ted:
How diva-ish is Lea Michele really? Do you think she's getting any better, or is she actually getting worse?

Dear Reformed?
The Glee gal certainly got a reality check when her nasty ‘tude got called out, so she's minding her P's and Q's for now. But don't believe she's an angel; this babe is far craftier than meets the eye.

Dear Ted:
I was watching the special features to Forgetting Sarah Marshall and in one of the table reads Kristen Bell looks like a complete bitch. Is she as nice as she seems?
—B in Alaska

Dear Ring the Bell:
Sorry to disappoint, but K.B. hasn't been creating any waves in T-town. She's a sweetie and totally into rescuing animals—got to give her some points for that!

Dear Ted:
When you speak of a diva on the Twilight set, does that mean it's a girl or can it be a guy as well?

Dear Equal Opportunity:
A diva can definitely be a lady or a dude. This town is full of guy divas—don't let them fool you. Sometimes they're actually worse!

Dear Ted:
This has to be the year of the breakup. I can't believe the numbers so far, including couples that no one would have expected: Kate Winslet and Sam Mendes, Jesse James and Sandra Bullock, Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins and more. What is up?

Dear Spotlight:
Relationships are tough enough (my own marriage broke up last year), but you put a microscope on that union and all bets are off.

Dear Ted:
My mother and I help rescue small dogs with my sister and find them homes. Thank you for all your work with rescue animals. Someone needs to give them a voice. I want to know if Nelly Fang is Paul Wesley? Am I close? Also is there anything the fans can do to get Megan Fox back in Transformers? My mom is highly insulted by this turn of events. She thinks they are perfect for each other and that Megan not being there will ruin the movie.

Dear No and No:
Nope, Nelly ain't the Vampire Diaries star—but you aren't the only one who thought (or maybe hoped?) he might be. As for Meg, she's way over Transformers and vice versa. Tell your mom, sorry, but she'll just have to enjoy the robots without their Fox-y femme. And congrats on your good work. Karma's in your favor now.

Dear Ted:
Is Venetia Vag-O-Matic Gwyneth Paltrow? Makes sense to me. I know she's close with Melissa Etheridge, although that doesn't necessarily make someone a lesbian...

Dear GOOPed:
Heck no, Lynn. Venetia is way wilder than boring old Gwyn—that's why she was swapping spit across the pond.