In what may be the most pivotal moment in American Idol history, judge Randy Jackson has entered a new phase in his normally praise-slathered critiquing.

He hates somebody. Paige Turner, to be exact, and you know it's serious. Not even once does he call her dawg.

Things are equally ugly on The Secret Life of the American Teenager when Rick tries to move in on Ashley as her BF Grant watches from afar. While openly swilling champagne. Here's the secret, dude: American teens are supposed to do their drinking behind the dumpster at 7-Eleven.

And in MTV's Is She Really Going Out with Him, the "him" is a lad who is so filled with bile he's aroused at the thought of her friends dying. And yes, she really is going out with him.

All this and more on a new batch of Soup tonight at 10 p.m. ET/PT. It's cheap, funny and no one will get hurt. Probably.

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The same cannot be said for the Soup blog video gallery. Enter at your own risk.

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