Like Emma Stone once shouted at Ryan Gosling in Crazy, Stupid, Love: "It's like you're Photoshopped!" On paper, the 26-year-old is the perfect pick. Come on, just look at the bio that was posted for him on ABC.com when Becca Kufrin's contestants for The Bachelorette were announced:
Colton was named after the Indianapolis Colts which would turn out to be fitting for this lifelong football player. He played professionally for three teams before an injury forced him to retire. Post-football, Colton has dedicated himself to helping children fighting Cystic Fibrosis. When he's not working on his charity, he's spending time with his family and his dog, Sniper.
It's like a next Bachelor mad libs! They may as well have started fitting him for his Bachelor suits right then and there and started trimming the rose bush to stock up for the next season.