The Vampire Diaries

Annette Brown/The CW

Spoiler Alert: Do not continue reading if you've yet to watch The Vampire Diaries' season five premiere. Seriously, we meant it, spoilers are ahead! So no going down to the comments and complaining about us ruining your night. House rules!

Roommate Etiquette 101: Don't bite your dorm mate on the first night!

The Vampire Diaries returned for its highly-anticipated fifth season tonight, with Elena (Nina Dobrev) and Caroline (Candice Accola) heading off to college, while Damon (Ian Somerhalder), Jeremy (Steven R. McQueen) and Matt (Zach Roerig) get ready for another calm, quiet year in Mystic Falls. LOL, just kidding! There's an immortal being, Silas, on the loose posing as Stefan (Paul Wesley), out for revenge after losing the cure at the end of last season. Sometimes it really is better to go away for college, no?

Let's break down the premiere by location, Whitmore College and Mystic Falls, shall we?

Whitmore College

Though Caroline and Elena head off to college hoping for a normal freshman experience, filled with keggers, cute frat guys, arguments over where the small appliances go, things quickly take a turn for the supernatural when their roomie Megan's water is laced with vervaine...and all the fraternity houses are no-vamps zone and they are all owned by someone. Oh, and their roommate Megan is murdered by a vampire at one of the frat's parties. (At least the stress of all of this will probably combat any chances of gaining the freshman 15!)

But it gets even weirder as Megan had a photo of her and Elena's deceased father on her cell phone, and at the beginning of the episode, Sheriff Forbes told Elena that Whitmore is "where your father fell in love with medicine." Hm...what was Papa Gilbert up to?!

There was time for relationship drama at school as Caroline ended up crying herself to sleep on their first night after Tyler, who has been helping a wolf pack in Tenn. rather than hang out with his awesome girlfriend, is deferring for a semester. Forwood is in danger, y'all! At least Elena and Damon seem ready to handle the distance, dropping "I love yous" and kissing non-stop. Well, we're sure they will be fine until Elena learns that Damon isn't telling her about a whole lot of drama going down in Mystic Falls. Speaking of which...

Mystic Falls

After a summer filled with happiness (and horniness, seriously, they never stopped going at it!), Damon promised Elena he would look after Jeremy while she was away at school. Too bad Baby Gilbert is not doing too well since coming back from the dead. Turns out, no one at school really wants to be friends with "the freak who faked his own death." Jeremy, of course, gets in a fight on his first day back and fully utilized his hunter abilities, landing him an expulsion. (Luckily, Damon compelled the principal to give a lighter punishment).

As if a resurrected juvenile delinquent wasn't enough for Damon to deal with, a human Katherine showed up at Casa Salvatore, asking for a place to crash and protection. Protection from whom? Well, it turns out Silas' (Paul Wesley) masterplan has something to do with Katherine, as the episode ended with him compelling the entire town of Mystic Falls to find her after she ran away, almost killing Jeremy in the process by crashing their car into a lamp post. (But don't worry, she still had her signature sass, despite the chipped nails, messy hair and blisters. "Do you have any idea what it's like to run in heels?!" she asked Damon.) So just how evil is Silas? Well, he's got Stefan drowning over and over in a locked box under the sea (with only visions of Elena keeping him from shutting off his humanity), he sliced open Sheriff Forbes' wrist because he was thirsty and he killed Bonnie's father, the mayor of Mystic Falls, in front of the entire town. But what we found really interesting was his hatred of vampires, calling them "a perversion" of him.

Oh, and everyone's favorite human Matt Donovan learned the hard way that threesomes can have consequences as the Russian beauty Nadia (Olga Fonda) he and Rebekah (Claire Holt) shared their European bed with stole his Gilbert ring, only to pop up in Mystic Falls to give it back to him. And to have her friend take him out. Gulp! At least he shared one seriously steamy goodbye with Rebekah before she headed off to New Orleans for The Originals!

What did you think of The Vampire Diaries' premiere?

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