by emily belfiore | Fri., Apr. 17, 2020 6:39 AM
For Kaitlynn Carter, the rest is still unwritten.
On Thursday, The Hills: New Beginnings star opened up about the aftermath of her whirlwind summer romance with Miley Cyrus during her Instagram Live with co-star Whitney Port, explaining that she was "dealing with a lot emotionally" following their September 2019 split and was struggling with the media's newfound interest in her.
"What happened to me, like, basically just after Miley and I went our separate ways, I thought, ‘OK, like, my life's just kinda going back to the way it normally was for me when I'm on my own,'" she explained. "I had no expectations that anyone would give a s--t about me by myself. I had no plan in place. I didn't think about anything. For example, I was dealing with a lot emotionally at that time, obviously, and I really wasn't going out anywhere. I was just staying home."
This isn't the first time that the 31-year-old has addressed her and Miley's breakup. Back in November, she penned a candid essay about their relationship for Elle, where she opened up about her sexuality and falling for the "Slide Away" singer.
"This past July, I went on vacation with a female friend; the next thing I knew, I was in love with her," she wrote. "Until that trip, it had never crossed my mind that I was even capable of loving a woman the way I loved her. But after reflecting on my romantic history, I realized that I've never really had a 'type.'"
During the time of their PDA-packed trip, Kaitlynn had just announced that she and Brody Jenner were separating after one year of marriage. And, weeks later, Miley broke up with her longtime love Liam Hemsworth.
While discussing their breakup with Whitney, Kaitlynn recalled one of her first paparazzi run-ins at a bar that occurred after she and Miley had ended things, which sparked headlines that she was "out on the town, partying with a mystery man just two weeks after her breakup."
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I am so thankful I get to share my experience on The Hills with @kaitlynn. She has been such a sense of light while we film stressful situations, and I have felt comfortable opening up to her since the minute we met. That’s rare. Since we obviously aren’t able to film or get together right now, we thought it would be fun to catch up together in a LIVE so you could join us! We quizzed each other on some silly things and talked about some stuff we needed to get off our chest. Thank you to those who watched and sent us questions. We had so much fun and will definitely be doing another one soon, so stay tuned!
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"I just didn't anticipate anything like this happening," she said of her thought process at the time, noting that she was just visiting a friend's bar. "I'm used to it when I'm, like, with Brody or when I was with her, but never when I'm on my own. My mind is just swirling." Remembering feeling "mortified" by the situation, Kaitlynn added, "The narrative was so not what the actual situation was and that was such a wake-up call for me."
Using moments like this as fuel to get her "s--t together," the model began reclaiming her narrative and told Whitney that she is now adamant about controlling the message she puts out into the world—starting with social media.
"Social media is so different because this is a community, on my Instagram, this is the community that I have been communicating with and sharing things with for years now," she explained. "And I built this community over a long time. When I'm sharing things on there, it feels familiar. It feels like a safe place."