Davidson, who is back to brunette, did not reference his recent flirtation with Kate Beckinsale. But about 45 minutes into his act at The Bell House, some women yelled out, "We love you, Pete!" Rather than responding in kind, he said, "Stop! Thank you. But for some reason, the way I was raised, I can't accept that. It's not you—it's me. I love you, too. But please, stop."
At one point, Davidson relayed a version of the story he told on New Year's Eve in Boston involving a student at his mother's school singing Grande's "Thank U, Next"—then being punished by having to sing it in front of school officials. Davidson also riffed on a joke he told attendees during his Jan. 12 gig at Tarrytown Music Hall in New York about Grande's hit single.
"So, I don't know if any of you guys have ever been dumped via diss record, but here's how it goes: Historically, in music, in the diss record section, diss records are kind of, like, alluded. It's like alluded, right? Not this song. This song was taken with a slightly different approach. She named all of us right off the bat. Which is a very G, like, 'f--k you' move, which is very cool. I get it," he said. "Here's how I feel, honestly: I get it, right? It's work. Work's work. This is what we do. I'm talking about it now. It's fair game. Right? Here's the only thing I don't like. There's one thing I don't like, OK? I don't like that she talked all this s--t for my dick. It made me feel weird."
In fact, Davidson said Grande's comments regarding his genitals, in addition to the "big dick energy" articles that were published over the summer, were more damaging than flattering. "This relationship doesn't go well with this very popular person, and then she goes, 'Oh, it didn't go well. He has a big dick, though.' And everybody's like, 'Oh, what a nice girl.' No! 'Genius' is the correct word," he said. "There's a reason why she is who she is. She is one of the smartest people in the world. It's true. She is a very tiny girl, right? She has very tiny hands. Everything is f--king fun-sized to her, OK? She knows this! It was a big joke when we first started dating."
Jokingly implying his ex has cursed him with women, Davidson joked, "You sit back and you're like, 'Why?' Why would girl who knows this information break up with a guy, set him loose, make him kind of famous and then be like, 'He has a huge dick?' Why would you do that? It's so that every girl who f--ks me for the rest of my life is disappointed. It's genius! Sick! F--king sick!"
Davidson also explained why he wanted to say something kind about Grande the night "Thank, U Next" dropped before Saturday Night Live. "I just wanted to say something nice, OK? Cause I wanted this s--t all to end. Basically, I just wanted to be able to do drugs in public again, OK? That's all I want," said the comic, who drank beer and smoked throughout his hour-long stand-up set. "I want to be able to be s--t-faced in public again and not be bothered. That's all I want!"
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