Fox"This is so wonderfully random!"
Our thoughts exactly regarding tonight's delightfully insane Scream Queens, "Seven Minutes in Hell," in which a guy with no arms died trying to climb a ladder (why not?) and some of our favorite Kappas were thrust into the spotlight as the most likely candidates to be The Killer.
Basically, tonight featured both the best and worst slumber party we've ever seen. It looked like a lot of fun thanks to both kissing and dance parties, but it was also sort of terrifying, what with the locked doors and windows and the killer on the loose and all.
It was, however, a pretty revealing night, in more ways than one.
So who's the #1 most suspicious? And who's #1 most likely to actually be The Killer? Plus what can we exclusively reveal about what happens next? Read on!
WHAT WE LEARNED
- The Most Suspicious:Lea Michele's "Number 6," a k a Hester, of course. She made it very clear that she is, as Chad put it, "wake up with my penis in a jar lunatic," and is currently hell-bent on becoming 1) the new Chanel and 2) the new "It Couple."
The "It Couple" obsession seems relevant, of course, because The Killer seems to be offing the love interests of the other Kappas: Number 5's Rodger and Dodger and Number 3's Sam were the latest casualties. Number 6 has a clear agenda: To kill off any Kappa who is standing in her way of social dominance. Also worth noting: Number Two (Ariana Grande) was sleeping with Chad, so there are a lot of love interests getting slaughtered here. Jealousy seems to be a prime motivation.
2. Who We Think the Killer Actually Is: Grace. Yep, Grace is currently our top pick for who will be revealed ultimately as The Killer, because how else would you explain her choosing, repeatedly, to stay in a house of terrible psychopaths who are being hunted by a killer? She's had so many outs, and that whole "I have to stand by my sisters" thing? Not buying it! Grace is also the only Kappa without a mother (at least, that's what she has said), so it's possible she was the Bathtub Baby and has come back to exact revenge on the house where her mother died.
3. Number 3 and Zayday Are Also Probably In On It: Despite her explanation that she wears earmuffs because th last guy she dated is obsessed with her ears and wants to cut them off, we can't shake the feeling that she's LISTENING to someone/something underneath those muffs. Perhaps she's just a puppet? Also, Zayday has now come face to face with the Red Devil twice and lived to tell about it—Plus that fight scene seemed highly choreographed/fake, a la Gigi's (Nasim Pedrad) and we all know Gigi is in #cahoots with the Red Devil.
4. It is apparently impossible to lie in a game of Truth or Dare. Worst killer-catching plan ever? However, Chad's love of that "pretty damn simple" game is possibly now our new favorite fact about Chad Radwell, and we already had a lot of favorite facts about Chad Radwell.
WHAT LIES AHEAD
An "orgy of evidence:" Another arrest is made, and it all has something to do with lunch meat. Meanwhile, a whole bunch of popular killer theories will start to seem a lot more valid…
Four Screams and a Funeral: RIP so many people so far, and apparently people are going to finally start mourning, kinda. They're also going to follow up that funeral by dabbling in the dark arts of the paranormal, and that always works out well!
Reach for the Guest Stars: One of this season's guest stars makes quite an appearance. Expect lots of LOLing and GOLing (Guffaw Out Loud-ing).
More Matthew McConaughey: There's no real reason for it but honestly, no reason needed. You can break into your Matthew McConaughey impression literally any time, Diego Boneta.
CURRENT RED DEVIL SUSPECT RANKING
Grace: See above.
Zayday: She's just so good at escaping that Red Devil that it almost seems choreographed…
Hester/Chanel #6: She literally said "that's what I would do" when describing what the killer is probably doing, and we just really want to live in a world where Lea Michele is playing a serial killer on TV.
Chanel #5: If we were treated the way she's treated on a regular basis, we'd be in a pretty bad mood too.
Chanel #3: Those earmuffs are fishy, but on the other hand, we also just don't think poor Sam would have reacted as lamely as that if #3 had revealed herself to be the killer.
Line of the Night: "This is the problem with texting. You can't hear the context!" – Chad, after he wonders where Hester got the idea that they were on the verge of becoming the next It Couple, and Hester explains that he texted her, "We're on the verge of being the next It Couple, Hester. Love, Chad."
Also: Does anyone else have Chumbawumba's "Tubthumping" stuck in their heads?
Scream Queens airs Tuesdays at 8 p.m. on Fox.