Kate Hudson Finally Reveals Why She and Matthew Bellamy Called Off Their Wedding Plans

"Relationships ending are painful, and you can choose to carry that or you can choose to reframe it," the actress tells Allure

By Zach Johnson Oct 16, 2015 12:00 AMTags

All's well that ends well, according to Kate Hudson.

The rom-com queen and Muse frontman Matthew Bellamy quietly separated sometime in 2014, though they didn't confirm that their engagement had ended until December of the year. Now, for the first time ever, Hudson is opening up in detail about why she is no longer going to marry the British rocker.

"Relationships ending are painful, and you can choose to carry that or you can choose to reframe it. If Matt and I had a great relationship, we would still be together, but we chose to move on because we had different visions of how we wanted to live our lives," she tells Allure. "That doesn't mean, though, that we can't rebuild something that would be the best thing for the kids."

Ah, the kids. The actress is the proud mother of son Bingham Bellamy, 4, with Matthew, as well as son Ryder Robinson, 11, with ex-husband Chris Robinson.

Since their breakup last year, the exes have made a point of staying connected. "We said, 'We need to try to create something for the kids where they feel like they're gaining something rather than losing something,'" the Rock the Kasbah star says in the November issue. "It's been a seamless transition. Kids just want to see their parents be cool. Everybody's cool; everybody's good."

Watch: What's Kate Hudson's Secret to a Sexy Bod?

Is it her ideal family scenario, though? "Being someone who has come from a broken family and has a stepfather [Kurt Russell], I really benefited from having that very consistent [presence] in my life," Goldie Hawn's daughter says. "And it's something I am mindful of and want in my life."

Sounding more and more like her famous mother, Kate believes it's important to be mindful of her intentions and goals. "We create the experiences that we want to have," the single mom tells Allure. "If you want to create the painful experience, you can do that. You have the power to make [any] situation a painful or a difficult one. I want to try to create experiences that will be positive for my kids."


"Happiness is not something that just comes to you. It's an active process."

It's that kind of thinking that spurred the Fabletics co-founder to write a book about "throwing perfection out the window." The Golden Globe-winning actress cautions that it's "not an advice book" per se, but teases, "It's about finding what works for you. And I'll share the things that have worked for me."

For more from Kate, be sure to pick up the November issue of Allure.