Amy Schumer for President! OK, fine, we'll lower our expectations a little bit (or a lot): Amy Schumer for the next Bachelorette!
Ever since her hilarious guest appearance on the ABC reality hit, where she infamously called one of the contestants, JJ, a "turd," fans have been rallying behind the Inside Amy Schumer to become the next Bachelorette. Hey, even ABC wants her to do it.
So, of course, when E! News' Maria Menounos sat down with Schumer to chat about her amazing new movie Trainwreck, she had to know if the comedian would ever seriously consider handing out roses in front of ABC's cameras.
And guess what? She totally would! But ABC would have to agree to these three conditions first...
UPDATE: Clearly, we are doing the lord's work because The Bachelor's host with the most Chris Harrison just agreed to Schumer's terms on Twitter.
1. Back up the Brinks truck: "Money," Schumer says. A lot of money."
2. Let's get real: The reason Schumer, who is a "huge fan" of the show, doesn't think she could ever truly be the Bachelorette is because she would be "very honest and I don't think there's room for that in the franchise.
"They would have to say, 'We will let you be yourself,'" she adds. "I would say what was really up."
3. No turds allowed: The biggest hurdle for ABC to land Schumer? "The casting process would have to be different," the Inside Amy Schumer creator and star says, hilariously mocking the show's "weird" job descriptions. "It's like, 'former investment banker'?! They're like, 'flower enthusiast'? You're like, 'But what do you do? How come you could leave your life?'" she says. "I love when it's like, ‘I have five kids at home but I just came here to follow my heart.' It's like maybe go take care of your kids? I would keep it very real. And I don't know if it's good for that show."
Of course, seeing as how she is a huge fan of the current Bachelorette Kaitlyn Bristowe, and has met a lot of the contestants, we asked Schumer who she thinks Kaitlyn should give her final rose to.
"One of the Bens. I think one of the Bens,' Schumer says. "But I think it[s probably Shawn. The dentist is sweet."
While Schumer could clearly talk about The Bachelorette all day with us (dream girls' night, right?!), the best part of our interview with her is the fact that her Trainwreck co-star Bill Hader clearly has no idea what the hell we are talking about. Press play on the video at the top of the story to watch the hilariousness go down.
The Bachelorette airs tonight at 8 p.m. on ABC, while Schumer and Hader's new movie Trainwreck hits theaters on July 17.