J.K. Rowling, Imedla Staunton

Warner Bros., David M. Benett/Getty Images for Lumos

So, J.K. Rowling didn't write a romance novel. This is so much better for the time being, right?!

The mind from which the entire wizarding world of Harry Potter sprang will be publishing a new story next week on the Pottermore website, a 1,700-word essay focused on the villainous Dolores Umbridge—who, if you'll remember, was quite the thorn in Harry's side (and hand).

The pink-wearing, borderline Fascist character first flounced into Hogwarts in the fifth book, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, as the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, after which she ends up appointed head of Hogwarts as tensions rise. She is ultimately...SPOILER ALERT...

...sentenced to life in Azkaban prison for being a real biznitch.

So what does Rowling want to explore her story for?!

Well, as it says on Pottermore: "Umbridge is not only one of the most malicious Potter characters—she is the only person other than Lord Voldemort to leave a permanent physical scar on Harry." Hence the enduring interest in this rather loathsome character, who was played to chilling perfection by Imelda Staunton in the films.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Warner Bros.

Of course, this won't be the first time that Rowling has taken up with a less-than-savory character from the Harry Potter canon since she put the initial series to bed in 2007.

Wait, a second: Wow, has it really been that long since the seventh book came out?

J.K. Rowling

CARL COURT/AFP/Getty Images

Anyway, Rowling also penned a "column" as newspaperwoman Rita Skeeter, another suspicious character out for her own advancement who Harry often butted heads with. The story was written in the guise of a Daily Prophet article that purported to catch up with some of the film's major characters at the Quidditch World Cup.

Rowling herself, meanwhihle, will remain busy for the forseeable future, especially considering the planned spin-off film Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them is now going to be a trilogy. The English author will be making her screenwriting debut on the first installment, due in theaters in 2016.

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