Jamie Squire/Getty ImagesThe NFL released its regular season schedule this week, and it was like a light shining down in the dark, depressing hole that is the world without football and with the NBA season.
It means that the NFL season is upon us! Because we don't know about you guys, but we don't officially get excited for football until the regular season schedule is released. Yes, the preseason schedule came out a couple of weeks ago, but does anyone really care about those games? We get to watch our teams play for the first time in months, sure, but usually they only play for a half at the most and then heeere comes the second string!
Anyway, the return of the NFL season is still months away, but we are clinging to this schedule announcement like a drowning man clings to a buoy in the middle of a storm. (Again, the storm being the NBA season.) Why are we so excited about this reminder that we're one step closer to football? Duh. We have five simple reasons:
1. The Revenge of the Fail Mary: Remember when the NFL had replacement refs? Us neither. Because we are trying to block that god-forsaken time from our memories. But it happened. And not only that, it led to the now legendary Fail Mary play, which happened in the 2012 game between the Green Bay Packers and the Seattle Seahawks. If you don't know the play we're talking about, you can watch footage of it above, but basically Seattle threw a Hail Mary pass into the end zone at the end of the game, and two Seahawks player jumped for it at the same time as four Packers players jumped for it. Everyone got their hands on the ball and no one actually caught it or retained possession, but somehow the refs called it a touchdown. Even President Obama said the call was "absolutely the worst thing to happen ever." OK, he didn't exactly call it that but he did say it was "terrible."
There are plenty of grudge match games this season (more on that later), but this one is special because every Packers fan knows that that game was taken from them on a very dubious last-minute call. And now they want their revenge.
2. Players in Snow: To us, there is nothing funnier than amazing, world-class athletes watching as the skills they painstakingly developed over years of brutal training get thrown out the window because of snow. When the snow is really heavy, no one can see what the hell is going on. People are bumping into each other, falling over and games basically turn into three-hour long slapstick comedy routines. And we love it. Nothing, not even the Winter Olympics, can bring us the joy that NFL games played in a crazy snowstorm can.
3. Grudge Matches: The 2014-2015 schedule is full of matchups that make us lick our lips in anticipation. That sounded creepy, but just move past it. The Broncos versus the Patriots, aka another Peyton Manning versus Tom Brady showdown, the Bears take on the Packers in another game from one of the league's biggest rivalries and our personal favorite: the Colts against the Broncos. Last time, Andrew Luck knocked Manning and the Broncos off a undefeated record, and we can't wait to see what happens when these two meet up again.
4. Moments Like This: Even if you've never watched a football game in our life, you probably heard about Richard Sherman talking to screaming at Erin Andrews after the Seahawks beat the Niners in the NFC Championship game. And that was a prime example of why NFL games never fail to churn out moments that everyone is talking about the next day. The games are just do damn entertaining, and you never know when the next big moment is about to unfold before your very eyes. Is there anything more entertaining than Twitter on football Sunday? We don't think so, and we are never wrong so...lawyered.
5. The Clean Slate: Most importantly, everyone starts out the season with a clean slate. Fans can have hope again, and everyone is convinced that this year is the year their team makes it to the Super Bowl. Or some fans are just hoping to get out of the regular season (lookin' at you, Cleveland Browns fans). As the great poet Ellie Goulding said: "Anything can happen."
In summary: FOOTBALL IS COMING, Y'ALL.
So let's scrutinize every single week of the new schedule until we have something else to talk about, like the NFL draft! See you guys there.