The Regular NFL Season Is Over, and It's Just the Worst Thing Ever

By Jenna Mullins Dec 30, 2013 8:54 PMTags
Peyton Manning, Denver Broncos, Adrian Peterson, Minnesota Vikings, Aaron Rodgers, Green Bay PackersGetty Images; AP Photo

Ugh, the NFL's regular season is over. And now we have to wait forever for it to come back. Seemed like only yesterday we were getting ready for week one and now…only emptiness inside. It's like how you feel the day after Christmas, times 20. 

Sure, the playoffs will almost definitely bring us lots of entertainment. But if your team isn't participating in the after-season fun, then you are out of luck. What are we supposed to do with our Sundays, Mondays and Thursdays now? Talk to people? Gross. 

Here's what we'll be missing now that the 2013-2014 football season is mere weeks from ending:

1. No more Tom Brady left hanging for hours on end.

2. No more ridiculous big play celebrations that we can't stop watching. We want to look away, but we. just. can't.

3. No more football players turning into toddlers while trying to play in the snow.

4. No more searching the crowds for the drunkest fan, the coldest fan or some combination of the two.

5. No more Sad Eli Manning. Or Emo Eli, if you prefer. 

6. No more witnessing incredible, jaw-dropping, how-in-the-hell-is-that-even-possible plays.

7. No more fantasy football, which means no more talking crap to your friends and no more yelling at the screen when your running back fumbles the ball. 

8. No more tackles that make you say: "Ouch! That guy's coccyx is totally broken now."

9. No more laughing at plays that fail so hard you need a new word for "failing." 

10. No more football. R.I.P. regular season. Bring on the playoffs!