Rob Pattinson, Leonardo Dicaprio

Fame Pictures Inc.; Dennis Van Tine/

Let me be the first to say that I've got nothing against dedicated fans, but certain folks are sometimes a bit, well, let's just say too dedicated. Maybe you've heard of 'em? They're called stalkers, and celebs just love their constant company, novel-long poetic letters and threats declarations of love.

So it's no surprise that mega stars Robert Pattinson and Leonardo DiCaprio have the cream of the crop when it comes to these "loyal" lunatics. And with Leo's alleged attacker (slash superfan?) making headlines lately with cries of conspiracy, we wonder which star sparks more insanity:

Robert Pattinson aka The Twilight Hottie

Top Suspect: Anonymous Trespasser

Hobbies: Real estate enthusiasm including in-depth research of home listing, trespassing with or without a little bit of breaking and entering into the homes of big-screen vampires, photographing R.Pattz's personal possessions and possibly sniffing his underwear

Psychological Review: Uh, not great. Not only is it über-creepy to show up at his place in the hopes of...actually, in the hopes of what? I assume the fan(atic) figured Rob would be excited to see one of his fave Twihards and invite her in for a screening of all the Twilight flicks followed by an impromptu romantic serenade on the guitar. Sounds like a successful, totally sane plan to me!

More Mayhem!: Stalker paparazzo snapping mile-high shots of Rob and his gf Kristen on a plane from L.A. to Canada, proving that there's literally no where in the atmosphere the dude can go without someone invading his privacy.

Leonardo DiCaprio aka The Titanic Hunk

Top Suspect: Aretha Wilson

Hobbies: Crashing Hollywood parties of famous "friends," allegedly slashing People's Sexiest Men's faces with beer bottles, visiting Canada for extended periods of time that may or may not coincide with stature of limitations on assault violations

Psychological Review: She's got the mental state of a game of Jenga. Not only does she claim the incident was Leo's fault (despite her history of violence), but her trusty lawyer, Freddy Sayegh, offered up this doozy when trying to prove her innocence: "She's been to his home and met his mother and child and they've had many outings."

More Mayhem!: Aretha's not the first fan to claim Leo is a father. We hear from Camp DiCaprio that he's been accused of being a baby daddy many times to a certain someone that you may have heard of: Jesus Christ. Yep, that Jesus Christ.

Verdict: I'm going with Leo on this one. I'm not sure if it's too many screenings of Gangs of New York, but violence seems to be a requirement to join the Leo DiCaprio stalker club. Plus, consider me cynical, but I just don't see The Virgin Bar birthing the next messiah. But hey, maybe I'm the koo-koo crazy one.

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PHOTOS: Stars With Stalkers

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