Lennon Torres didn't think of her latest milestone as a stop-the-presses moment.
But that didn't mean, less than two weeks after undergoing top surgery, she wasn't "over the moon" about the results.
"I feel, honestly, euphoric," the dancer and activist told E! News in an exclusive interview Oct. 25 about the latest step of the transition journey she embarked on roughly 18 months ago. Yet at the same time, "god-awful surgical bra" aside, she also felt a certain "calmness and ease," a state of mind that's become more familiar as time has gone by.
"I think there's such a narrative about these types of steps," Torres explained, "like, 'It's the biggest step ever!' and we go from point A to point B. I know people have done a 'before' photo and an 'after' photo—it is what it is. It's great, I love that, but I think a transition is really a transition. I've seen my body do these amazing things with estrogen and other hormone replacement therapy options, and my body has really been changing gradually. So it doesn't feel like a really huge, mind-blowing moment. It feels a little bit more like, we just made the next logical step and I couldn't feel happier about it."
But the 23-year-old—who leapt into the pop culture consciousness 10 years ago on Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition and Dance Moms—is fully aware that what she chooses to share with the world can have a major impact.
"I really try to project trans joy when I can," Torres said, "because in the news there's a lot of heaviness when it comes to talking about the transgender community."
And the news has been heavy for a reason, unfortunately.
"Every day I wake up and I'm like, If I was younger than I am right now, or even just a little bit less confident, it would be really hard to go online these days while doing what I'm doing, because someone always is going to say something negative about you and your family and your choices, and where you're going after you die," Torres said. "It's always something, and luckily I feel really strong and grounded in who I am."
While she considers her personal experience so far to have been largely positive—"Being transgender is so fulfilling and our stories can be so inspiring"—she points to the spate of anti-trans legislation being passed in some states and the "current landscape surrounding transgender healthcare in the U.S." as the low points.
"Every time I make a step forward, I always am conscious to remind myself of how lucky I am to be given the opportunity, the resources and the capacity to make that step forward," Torres said. "I want to see more joy around this narrative and that's why I share [my story]. I want to see more happiness. I want to see more positive things—although it's important to keep track of the negative stuff, really keep people in check, hold people accountable."
And she isn't just talking the talk.
"Politics is a little bit of a passion of mine," Torres noted. Earlier this year she earned her master's degree in public relations and advertising and a certificate in public policy and advocacy from the University of Southern California, and she's been working for the National Democratic Redistricting Committee.
"I saw this meme on Instagram," she recalled, "and it said, 'My love language is checking your voter registration.' I think that is probably the most me thing I've ever heard."
Work has been extra busy with the midterm elections coming up Nov. 8—which, incidentally, helped stave off the nerves as her Oct. 14 surgery approached.
Dr. H. Elise Min and her team at Cassileth Plastic Surgery in Beverly Hills reached out to her through social media, Torres revealed, originally to discuss their skin care services. But when she went to the office, their consultation took a turn for the "phenomenal."
They began by asking her about her goals, "you know, 'What are you interested in?'" she shared. She considered their approach a "green flag" because they weren't trying to dictate to her what they thought she needed. "They're not telling me, 'We think this would look great.' They're saying, 'What do you need from us? How can we help you?' And that was just so empowering."
The doctor was able to show her via computer imaging what the end result of top surgery would look like. "I had no idea what the possibilities were," Torres said. "It was a very eye-opening appointment."
And because of her packed schedule, which included a trip to Phoenix to visit her family, a photo shoot on the East Coast and then a couple of long days of work with the NDRC back in Los Angeles, she barely had time to get nervous. Her mom flew in to be with her, they woke up at 5 a.m. the day of the surgery, and off they went.
"I honestly think that was for the better," Torres explained, "because I did a lot of the processing leading up to the decision of the date-setting. I'm glad I was moving quick because I am a very anxious person."
Agreeing to let a camera document her experience "came with some nerves," she admitted, though she was excited about the opportunity to share the reality of what she was going through.
"You all will see me right out of bed at five in the morning, didn't even get ready at all because you're not allowed to," Torres said with a smile, noting that she'll be sharing videos and many more details from her surgery and recovery on TikTok starting Nov. 3. "I had my mom there, so that really helped a lot. I also had one of my best friends there filming, so it did feel a little bit more intimate. And it was a really amazing experience. I wouldn't have wanted to do it any other way, honestly."
And now, though the healing process takes awhile, comes the fun part.
"I won't lie," Torres said, "the first couple of days were challenging because you feel the pain but you don't get to really see the results."
Being unable to move around much "was getting to me," she admitted, "but then I went shopping yesterday to buy my first strapless top."
Torres self-deprecatingly cracked that it was "so dumb" that she was so excited about shopping, but she wasn't going to pretend it didn't mean a lot to her.
Filling out a strapless top may be "something so small and subtle, but I think that it just goes to show that transitioning is so individual," she reflected. "It gets you to where you want to be. It doesn't matter what other people expect from you. This is what I want to look like and this is who I feel like is me—and being able to stand on a roof and just smile and have a strapless top on that's not slipping is bringing me a lot of happiness."
She still feels the urgency of sharing her story, telling E!, "If I could change one person's mind of what they think about when they think of top surgery for a transgender person, or even just hormone replacement therapy," she'll consider it a win.
But she's also determined to enjoy her view from that rooftop.
"It feels very calming, in a way," Torres said of reaching this point in her transition. "It feels like we can take a breath, we made it. It's been a long journey to get here but we made it for now. We're in a good spot."