Bitch-Back! Miley Misses the Spotlight

Miley Cyrus is acting up, plus many questions on what good ole Toothy Tile has been up to

Dear Ted:
Who does Miley Cyrus think she is these days? First, claiming she's never heard a Jay-Z song and that she doesn't listen to pop music? And now, I've read reports that she is dissing the Twilight series. Based on the quotes it seems like she is going out of her way to alienate her own fan base. What's her deal, and will her fans continue to be loyal if she keeps it up?
—C

Dear Mouthy Miley:
Please, this letter is exactly what she wants! Since not everyone is focusing on all-Miley, all-the-time, she needs to stir up some trouble. Leave those kinda comments to Megan Fox, Miles, she does it way better.

Dear Ted:
I was just looking through People's Sexiest Man issue. How many of the drool worthy guys pictured in that issue are something other than hetero? Adam Lambert is one, so 2-3? 4? More than 5? Or would it be easier and less litigious for me to ask you which ones are straight as an arrow?
—Sebastiadams

Dear Yummy Edition:
People's (Out) Gayest Men Alive just wouldn't really sell, now would it?

Dear Ted:
What's the deal with Peter Facinelli and Kellan Lutz? Are they just friends or do they have some hidden secrets? Any goss to share on them?
—Kym

Dear Bromance:
Peter put it this way when we talked to him on Monday about those hand-holding pics: "I like making people laugh! When people smile it makes me happy. I like to have a good time, Kellan likes to have a good time too. He's really fun. That's why we're so compatible."

Dear Ted:
Love your stuff. The Robsten scoops have been 100 percent correct and right on! Thanks! But, Chris Pine's scrumptiousness reaches new heights as Robsten is confirmed and now I'm suddenly deflated of their air! Chris Pine is gorg. Tell us what you know about his love life.
—Erin

Dear Pine Away:
I don't know a lot—and that's either a very good or bad thing. He's either hiding something, or trying to have a normal life. Either way, glad he's not parading around a girl for show.

Dear Ted:
The proper heading for that post should have been are Twilight fans sexist? The truth is, as Ted must have noted, that Twilight itself is incredibly sexist. Bella is clumsy and defenseless—as are most females unless they become vampires. Even the female vampires aren't singularly victorious over male vampires. Doesn't anyone find it odd that Bella must cook and clean for her apparently incapable father? Didn't this father manage by himself for over a decade? Very Mormon indeed. I wish that these kids were not sent out to the press to be torn down as they are for their pose, their language, etc. I can't help but wish these teen actors would just spend a year at college: enough time to learn some history, literature, art history, etc. to have references from which to cull.
—KW

Dear Agree Agree:
I've definitely had a few things to say on the sexism of the books, too.

Dear Ted:
I have a source who used to do local theater with Katie Holmes before she was famous. She said Katie was darling, but quiet and shy. When she did talk she was quite flirtatious, but only with the girls! I was surprised to hear this, but it got me to wondering...double bearding? I would love to hear your take. Lots of love to ya!
—Ole

Dear Gossipin' Gal:
Oh honey, too fun. Katie's got problems, but it ain't of the double-bearding kind. That's more for some of her acquaintances.

Dear Ted:
You said a while back that one of the Twilight cast is bisexual and that he/she embraces it, and doesn't care who knows it. You also said that he/she was gonna reveal it soon. So since he/she doesn't care who knows you might as well spill the name.
—Iluva

Dear Yes, but...:
Then it wouldn't be on his or her time. We're surprised it hasn't come out, no pun intended.

Dear Ted:
Does Toothy Tile's sister know that he is Toothy?
—Shellee

Dear Sly One:
It's been so long I can't remember—did I say Toothy had a sister?

Dear Ted:
Is Bon Jovi the loyal husband, devoted father, and selfless philanthropist he appears to be?
—Stuck in the '80s

Dear Booring:
For the most part, I'm afraid so.

Dear Ted:
Please let me intern for you!! Please!
—Faye, a devoted reader

Dear Do Something:
Apply online, sugarcake!

Dear Ted:
You are always my numero uno go-to guy for truth out there amid all the crazy-ass tabloid nonsense. Quick question about Robsten...with no upcoming movie set for them to be together on, and with Rob stating he is spending much of 2010 on his own far away movie sets, what will become of their relationship? Do you think Kristen will visit him on location, or so you think they'll cool off for six months? C'mon, your Deep Twi Guru must know something!
—Mimi

Dear Unknown:
That remains to be seen, hon. Nobody knows yet, their schedules have yet to be set. Let's hope they squeeze in some visits! But we know Rob and Kristen, they'll put their work first.

Dear Ted:
Is Toothy Tile in the same league as People's top 15 sexiest men alive?
—Nicky

Dear Depends:
I say no, but others would disagree.

Dear Ted:
That Twilight guy, Kellan Lutz, bears a passing resemblance to Sean William Scott, who, while very pretty, gives off an odd vibe (Sean, not Lutz). Has SWS ever been a blind vice and if so, a little hint which one?
—Jasmolak

Dear Piece of the Pie:
Oh, yeah.

Dear Ted:
Why on Earth did Hugh Dancy marry Claire Danes? What's up with them? Is it a Toothy Tile situation?
—Jill

Dear Very Blunt:
Well you're just throwing it all out there, aren't ya? How do you expect me to answer that?

Dear Ted:
Angelina's resume: Actress, Humanitarian, Academy Award Winner, UN Ambassador . Shouldn't she add, Homewrecker and Maneater to it?
—Jen

Dear Who's Counting:
I think you just did.

Dear Ted:
I just found out that Kelly Preston dated George Clooney! Talk about an unlikely couple. Kelly dated bad boy Charlie Sheen and is married to sweet and kind (by all accounts) John Travolta. Which category does George fall into? Bad boy? Or nice, sensitive guy?
—Hungry

Dear Grilling George:
Neither.

Dear Ted:
Now that Johnny Depp is People's Sexiest Man Alive, I definitely see Angelina making a move on him. Two Sexiest Men Alive on her resume, she can't resist it!
—Dawnie

Dear Dippin' Depp:
It's just too obvious of a decision. But you can count on the tabloids saying it's happening when they start filming.

Dear Ted:
I think I may have to stop reading your column—you are starting to make me warm up to Kristen Stewart. (However, I still hate Twilight).
—Hunny

Dear Even:
I consider that a victory!

Dear Ted:
Your last BV is just downright weird. Don't get me wrong, I love the tragic Romeo and Romeo story of JJO and DDD. It's just strange that taking up a new hobby like flying should qualify as a BV. So I'm forced to the conclusion that you are really telling us something quite different, something that isn't spelled out in the BV but you feel you should get out there. However, I'm totally at a loss. Could you throw me a few crumbs here, please? As a random guess, does it have anything to do with the photo ops you casually mentioned, or perhaps the timing?
—Agusta

Dear Dazed and Confused:
Of course there are many hints sprinkled in there. Take a step back and look at the obvious!

Dear Ted:
I adore you! How do we lobby for you to get your own show on E!? Can Taryn start a petition? Just wanted to table a question for you to put to Rob in any future interview opportunities... Kicking myself for not writing in with this before you hit the New Moon red carpet! Could you please ask Rob: As you've said in the past that you have a lot in common with the Edward character, like being a loner among other things, how do you feel about Edward's commitment to celibacy? Is that where the line of similarity is drawn between character and actor? ;) I'd wager you'd at least get Rob's beautiful cheeky grin as a response, and no doubt with your talents and charms, you'd also be able wangle a naughty double entendre answer from him! Not a direct Robsten question, but close enough to fool killjoy Summit publicists!
—Kim

Dear Fab:
Consider it stored for a future carpet! Love.

Dear Ted:
I'm sorry Ted, but I gotta un-bookmark you. Too much dedication to Twilight and not enough on other stuff. This is basically a tween, barely teen interest around here. You are losing lots of die-hard readers, my friends that read your column religiously like I used to, agree. It's too bad, but your blolumn is putting me to sleep faster than watching golf on TV. I hope I can come back soon, cause as a person, you rock. Do you get pressured to report on this? And, lets be totally honest, are you as into it as you seem?
—Missing the old Ted, Twi-bored

Dear Valid Points:
Unfortunately, this is the de-lish mania of the minute. Who else is there to report on? Lohan—no thanks. Paris—yeah, right. Nicole Richie has settled down. Hollywood isn't what it used to be darling, trust. Thank cell phones and flipcams for that.

Dear Ted:
You need to shut up! Because Emilie De Ravin looked absolutely gorgeous and sexy. You really don't need to diss anyone. Just because she's starring in a movie with Rob, doesn't mean that she should be hated. I love her!
—Team Rob

Dear Too Literal:
I never said I hated her. But it was the first time I've seen her in person and I was shocked. I could put her in my pocket. She's just not my type is all.

Dear Ted:
Did you see the New York Times piece on Megan Fox? Looks like she's backing off her Angelina Jolie pretensions and now wants to be seen as a nice girl. What do you think about all this? Will she be backing off the nice girl persona in another year?
—Julia

Dear Can't Pin Her Down:
You bet—Fox is going to be peddling something different than the sexpot image we're all used to. It obviously didn't work for Jennifer's Body, so back to the faux-personality drawing board.