Jennifer Aniston

Dear Ted:
What about Jennifer Aniston saying she's fine with it if people call her "lonely girl"? Lonely girl? How long is she going to work this Debbie Reynolds thing? I'm beginning to think she's more media canny than either Shafterella Shoshtein or Fake à la Ferocity. It seems like Jen, Reese Witherspoon, and Angelina Jolie are all competing for the title of America's sweetheart (well, not Angelina—she'd get the Liz Taylor role in this drama), but all of them are just far too manipulative to be that wholesome. If Sandra Bullock put herself out there more, I'd go with her for the win!

Dear Too Much Red Bull:
Holy crap woman, that leader is loaded. First of all, if Jen was that media savvy she would have skated over the "lonely girl" title from day one—instead of getting crucified for it. Reese she is not.

Dear Ted:
Does Fake à la Ferocity drive or fly around with her kids? Isn't this dangerous and shouldn't someone do something about it before a huge tragedy occurs?

Dear Welcome To The Golden Age:
What's she supposed to go by, wagon? What mom doesn't drive around with her tots in tow?

Dear Ted:
Love Awful Truth. When are the annoying "old interview articles with Robert Pattinson" going to stop? Now they have this one which is very old and they are putting out there as if it were new?…Geez Louise, hope it stops soon especially now that Robsten will be together filming in Vancouver.

Dear Digging For Dirt:
Rag mags know what sell. They have to keep spicing up and over dramatizing Robsten (something they were all late to the party on) in order to feel au courant. They do not adore Rob's rebel manliness nearly as much I do, I assure you. 

Dear Ted:
I just wanted to share my gratitude with you. Two pictures a piece of Jon Hamm and R.Pattz on your site right now? Hallelujah! Much obliged.

Dear Hamm Sandwich:
I do what I can.

Dear Ted:
What's up with Kanye West declaring himself "the new King of Pop"? What arrogance! Jackson is barely cold and the man is already on the "king" title. He apparently is self-indulged and egotistical. Hell, Elvis has been dead since 1977 and no one has come forward and proclaimed themselves the new "King of Rock". What a jerk-off. I mean what gives him the right to take away Michael's title so soon? Michael Jackson will always be the King of Pop period. Kanye West…what an ass.

Dear Mourning The Mourning Period:
Nothing that Kanye West says shocks me anymore. If he wants to be the King Of Pop he can't be the King Of Rap. Greedy bastard needs to pick one.

Dear Ted:
Actor Xavier Samuel who portrays vampire Riley in the Eclipse saga is nicely packaged physically. Do you think Nikki Reed will take him for a test ride like she did w/ Rob Pattinson? And do you have your people staking out Michael Angarano to see if he's been hanging out w/ Kristen Stewart? And do you think that Summit will allow Rob and Kristen to display their affection more when they promote the Eclipse movie? Thanks, Ted.

Dear 3 Wishes And You're Out:
Indeed. Maybe, depends how soon Paris starts boring her. No, we have lives. Definitely not. Love ya!

Dear Ted:
Is it possible that Shafterella Shoshstein is Mary Louise Parker? I have always heard murmurings that her breakup with Billy Crudup wasn't as one sided as was reported. And congrats on your new puppy!

Dear How Much Have You Been Smoking?:
MLP? No way! Totally adore that babe and her down to earth ways. Shafterella is no dark haired beauty. And much thanks, Charlie's a gift.

Dear Ted:
I love your daily updates on Hollywood. I was wondering if you have any interesting information on Peter Facinelli. Is he really so nice and genuine as he seems?

Dear 9021-Ho:
Yep, and he's hot, hot, hot. Not to mention hideously taken by that bitch Jennie Garth, evil skank! He's a bit more quiet and brooding (Catholic, ya know) than the other outspoken Twi-daddy I love, Billy Burke. Should we run a "Who's Your Daddy?" Poll and see who wins? 

Dear Ted:
I would L-O-V-E a place to air grievances against Jen-I'm-better-than-you-Garner. I am glad that someone else sees how crappy she is, not just you and me!

Dear At Your Service:
Please, air away. JG is no AT lover. 

Dear Ted:
Dahling, you are fabulous (Chicago loves you). I lost my dear cat in March and I know our pets are frolicking together in pet heaven! What is up with all of Miley's emo Tweets? It's like a bad episode of "As the Stomach Turns" but I don't know which character is which. I can't tell if she is bashing Nick Jonas, or Justin Gatson, or someone else. It's like a Jewish Guilt seminar. Oh, I'm so confused…help me Obi Won, you're the only one who can.

Dear Sneaky Cy:
You're missing another dude to throw into the mix: Jesus. She keeps just keeps the mystery going between all three and loves every second of it. Image how Nick Jonas must be feeling?

Dear Ted:
Congrats T, for making a gossipy book about Goober, I mean Dubya. I cannot wait to read it. You're a big marcher now at the E! offices! Ted mentioned in the book and the Dubya White House. Wow. Do you think Dubya was making an Enemies List? We all know Cheney had one.

Dear Kill With Kindness:
Much thanks doll, it's the bitchiest things that make us all warm and fuzzy inside.

Dear Ted:
First the wonderful column co-written by Charlie urging people to shun breeders and adopt from shelters (I've been a shelter volunteer for over 15 years), then the Buffy love in this week's Bitch-back! I'm simply over the moon—and watching some choice Buffy episodes on DVD. Question: Is Charlie a girl or a boy? I'm thinking girl, since you made reference to "tubes tied." MWAHHH!
Monique Kline, Silver Spring, MD

Dear 2 For 2:
You love Charlie and Buffy? You're A-List in my book, dear. Wet sloppy kiss right back. 

Dear Ted:
My question for you Ted, is about last week's Truth, Lies, & Ted vid with Robsten given a script at Comic-Con. I just want to know where you get all of your insider Twilight information. Is this insider reliable? Can all of us fans trust that this "insider" is telling us the truth? Just making sure.

Dear Snitch:
No one likes a rat. I would never give up Deep Twi or our other insiders! But, they're about as inside as RPattz's deliciously naughty textings.

Dear Ted:
Need to know the dish on Alexander Skarsgard. He was hanging out with Evan Rachel Wood then pictured hugging some guy at the airport. What can you tell us? Gay? Straight? And who is he dating? Love your column!

Dear NO!:
Sexy Alexander would never waste his deliciousness on ERW. I totally get straight vibe. Don't you?

Dear Ted:
When can we start to here about all of the lovely dish on the Eclipse shoot? What about a "Countdown to New Moon" ticker on your site. Love ya for keepin' real.

Dear Mental Clock:
Once all the drama starts to unfold—and Robsten usually has a habit of being 'round for that. Rob and Kristen won't be up there to get going til Monday, probably. So soon dollface, promise!

Dear Ted:
Re: Rachelle Lefevre—interesting that there is a purported interview with Peter Facinelli making the rounds where he makes a big deal about how he told Summit right away about the Nurse Jackie shooting schedule so the producers could coordinate: AB: "Speaking of availability, you said you start back Nurse Jackie in October right?" PF: "I start back in October. Actually, I think that there were a couple of days that overlapped, but the schedules worked out, and I went to them very early on, like two months ago, before…You know, as soon as I knew Nurse Jackie was picked up for a second season, I went to Summit and I said listen this is probably going to conflict a little bit, so before they even had the boards, I reassured that it all worked out, so the producers of Nurse Jackie and the producers of Eclipse got on the phone and worked out the dates." Sort of makes me think Summit's version of events with RL might be accurate…that she waited too long to tell them.

Dear Devil Studio:
No doubt that there are some major discrepancies in Rachelle and Summit's accounts. But I don't think there was a real nasty motivation to get her out. Like I've said before, I think they want to send a message to the cast that they aren't going to put up with s—t, whatever the variety. So Rachelle wasn't exactly lucky enough to receive warnings when the scheduling stuff went down.

Dear Ted:
What do you think happened to Michael Jackson to make him change his face so much? By the Thriller era, he already had plastic surgery—and he was looking really handsome. By the Bad era, he was still hot though his face was too perfect looking in an un-natural way. But I'd still marry him or bang him silly. From 1993 on he turned into that pasty thing we all know. Do you think he ever had any regrets about having all that terrible botched plastic surgery done to his face? If he could have recaptured his face the way it looked circa Bad, do you think he would have gone for it? It just breaks my heart.
Mrs. Jackson For You

Dear Needles For Love:
I think that some serious messed up stuff went down in his childhood. And, yes, his life was rife with regret—and denial, incredibly sad.

Dear Ted:
When I found out that August 4 was now Megan Fox Day…I wanted to cry! OMG I really think she doesn't deserves a day…I mean a Twilight/R.Pattz day would be great (and marked on my calendar) but this so totally not!
Over Megan

Dear Foxed Out:
Let me guess why the Megan hating: a) you're a straight girl, b) you don't like the Rob rumors, or c) all of the above! Megan poo-poo'ers seem to have one or more of those in common. We love the babe!

Dear Ted:
I'm a Brazilian girl, I'm 25, I have a French fiancé, a master's degree and a job. But, omg I can't get enough of Rob Patzz and all the Robsten hotness! Am I crazy?
Brazilian Beauty

Dear Crazy Makes Perfect:
Hon, if you were alone in that then all of these Twilight kids would be jobless.

Dear Ted:
I was just wondering your thoughts on Paula Abdul not returning to American Idol. Where is the compassion going to come from now? Surely not Kara! I think she will be missed by many.
Curious Gman

Dear Bye, Bye Paula:
I think it' totally sucks! Simon makes the show, but Paula was No. 2.

Dear Ted:
George Clooney
finally kissed his new girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis. So, it means that he's come out! Kissing Betta, he also tasted all soccer players that she dated, like Bobo Vieri and Reginaldo Silva. Clooney loves soccer!

Dear Spastic Reasoning:
As much as soccer guys may be his type, skinny brunettes are more.

Dear Ted:
I love reading your column but I have to jump in and come to the defense of Marie Osmond. You referred to her as a Prop 8 supporter. In fact, according to a May 5, 2009 article on The Advocate's website, both her and her brother Donnie condemned the Mormon church after the church's involvement with the passage of Prop 8. She has also been very vocal in support and love for her gay daughter, Jessica. I was actually surprised when I read this. I too assumed that she would against marriage equality because of her Mormon beliefs. But she stated 'You know, on those types of things (gay marriage) I'm very supportive. When it comes to marriage, I think that civil rights need to be for all," Although she is a Mormon, she is a true friend to the gay community. Just thought I would let you know.
Eric in Seattle

Dear E-Mailer:
Yeah, but, a hefty percentage of Marie's substantial income still goes to support the anti-gay Mormon Church, hypocritical much?

Dear Ted:
I have gone over your clues for Nevis and everyone's guesses. Talk about being all over the dart board! Young, old, light, dark, muscles, skinny. Here's my guess. Another shot in the dark, but Alex O'Loughlin? Australian. He was a vampire in Moonlight and is now in Whiteout (white-hot infamy?). He was in August Rush with Jonathan Rhys Meyers and plays guitar. He broke up with longtime girlfriend in January. He's not especially "cut" and not immediately humpy, but I find him dead sexy. Close?

Dear Sure:
But not close enough.

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