James Charles isn't holding back anymore.
The 20-year-old YouTube personality and beauty guru has had a whirlwind year. From attending the 2019 Met Gala to re-releasing his much-buzzed about James Charles x Morphe Palette in a pocket-size version, it's clearly been one for the books. However, it hasn't been all rainbows and butterflies for the New York native, who was in a very public feud with fellow YouTube star, Tati Westbrook.
And while it shook the beauty community to its core when the drama began in May, Charles revealed that it's still affecting him months later.
"I'm not mentally in a place where I want to be," he told PAPER magazine in a candid interview. "What's even harder to swallow is that it's been six months since all the drama happened. I thought by this time I'd be completely good—back to normal, if you will—and that's not the case."
For a little refresher on the feud, Tati released a 43-minute YouTube video back in May about James.
She expressed she was hurt by him and felt "betrayed" after he promoted a company that was a direct competitor of her namesake brand. Moreover, she alleged that he tried to "coerce" a straight waiter into hooking up with him while they were at a restaurant together.
"You are using your fame, your power, your money, to play with people's emotions," Tati stated in her video. "You're threatening to ruin them. You're threatening to embarrass them, and you're doing that to have them behave sexually in your favor, even if they're straight."
She also alleged that James was giving information to drama channels that would be in his favor over the situation. "You sold out me, but you threw away our friendship. You lied to me, made up a story, you knew this would be embarrassing for me," she shared. "No our relationship is not transactional. I have never asked you for anything in return."
While James released his own video discussing Tati's accusations against him, he recently told PAPER that her statements about his alleged sexual advances were really "disgusting."
"What that statement implies is that gay men are all predatory, which is disgusting, not true and very dangerous to put out there," Charles shared with the publication. "The whole situation was scary for the LGBTQ+ community and paints a really bad picture of gay men."
"The reality is that the 'hook-up' was completely consensual," he explained. "[The person] told me that he was bisexual and later on told the world he was bisexual. There's nothing wrong with that."
In fact, the YouTube personality shared he's cautious when it comes to romantic relationships because he doesn't know what "people's true intentions are."
"I've gotten really good at seeing those early on. You just never know what people's true intentions are," he expressed. "With my job, there are so many blessings but a lot of people see them as an opportunity for themselves to either come up, get financial gain, get followers or attention or take me down with them, which has been attempted."
He added, "I'm just careful...and lonely."
Despite the drama he's experienced this year, James knows how "privileged" and lucky he is to have the position that he does. "The privilege is real," he shared. "I'm really grateful to have a platform and a job where I can support myself, my friends, family and my team that works for me."
Most importantly, the 20-year-old hopes to be an inspiring role-model for his followers.
"I want to make sure my fans are looking up to somebody that is making good choices, and is learning from their mistakes," he stated.
You can read James' full interview on PAPER's site.