Adam Berry/Getty Images
Adam Berry/Getty Images
To those who thought Facebook's upcoming addition of a "dislike" button would ruin friendships, you clearly haven't caught wind of Facebook's other update; an update that will surely cause the downfall of 50% of friendships, at least.
You know how when you log onto Facebook and you get an event invitation and you really just want to say to them:
But you can't, so usually you just pretend you can't make it or just pretend you never saw it in the first place. That little game is over, because Facebook's latest update includes read receipts for events. The host of the event can see who has viewed (and ignored) the event page.
"We're piloting the ability for private event hosts and guests to know whether their friends they invited have seen the event," a Facebook spokesperson tells The Daily Dot.
No, you're piloting the end of friendships! That's what you're doing!
This is what Facebook’s new friendship destruction device (event read receipts) looks like pic.twitter.com/Nv1IZfnCJ6— Daniel Victor (@bydanielvictor) September 14, 2015
So say your friend has invited you to an event. You click in to see what it is and much to your horror, it's an invite to attend her mime-juggling-improv class performance. Four-drink minimum and $30 cover. And you have to dress to impress, but only if you want to impress "a handsome mime." What does that even mean?! Yeah, it sounds like a nightmare hellscape and you would rather hit yourself with a toaster that's on fire than go to this. But you don't want to hurt your friend's feelings, so you'll just pull the usual "oh, I didn't even see it! I rarely go on Facebook anymore, you know."
Well, now she'll know you're a lying liar who lies! Because she can tell who has read (and thus, completely ignored) her event invitations. And she'll mime you some tears and a broken heart and you are now short one friend. But this friend was in a mime-juggling-improv class so maybe it's for the best. But the point is that this update will surely cause some tension between even the bestest of besties.
Your only option? Never click into a Facebook event invite ever again. Or just delete Facebook. And then break your computer. Bury that computer. Live off the grid. Now no one will find you to invite you to another Fifty Shades of Grey book discussion roller derby ever again.