Dave J Hogan/Getty ImagesChristopher Nolan just made another mystery-shrouded announcement.
This morning, Warner Brothers released the news that the much-heralded director will be making yet another movie with the studio, and it will hit theaters on July 21, 2017. But that is literally the only thing that anyone will say about the project. To say that this thing is secretive is a true understatement.
But that's totally the Nolan way.
After all, this is the guy who gave audiences all three flicks from The Dark Knight trilogy—secrecy is perhaps the most important trait for a superhero movie director. And let's not forget that all the early press for Interstellar consisted of just a wide camera pan over a corn field. No one had any idea, at least in the beginning, that the thing was even about space travel.
But all that doesn't mean that it's any easier to take the suspense. There's no doubt that the director will whip up something amazing for audiences to geek out over and awards pundits to fawn over, but even a little hint of a plot would be nice. Is it a thriller? Does it take place on this planet? Are there even humans in the script? These are questions that need answers.
It's going to be awhile before the world gets them, but we can offer up a few guesses in the meantime, using all of our (kind of) vast Christopher Nolan knowledge and the fact that we've seen The Dark Knight a whole bunch of times.
1. A man is the unwitting victim of a vicious attack which has left him suffering with debilitating amnesia. Unable to piece together his memories on his own, he begins using Polaroids and other keepsakes as he goes on his journey to find the truth—a journey that leaves him with the realization that what he's actually searching for isn't his would-be killers, but the groom in the wedding he was supposed to be in. What are the chances?!
2. A billionaire businessman decides he's not going to sit idly by and watch California dig its own grave in the drought. He's going to take the water crisis into his own hands, with a combination of very expensive gadgets, friends in high places and a healthy dose of vigilante justice. He may not be the water-saver Los Angeles deserves, but he's the one they need right now.
3. A disgraced police officer discovers a city manager's body on the side of the highway, and is tasked with solving his murder along with a rag-tag group of barely-able-to-be-described-as-cops. They soon discover that the city manager was involved in a plot to steal tens of millions of dollars from a gangster-slash-club-owner, and also that he and his cronies ran a top-secret prostitution ring that culminates in regular sex parties in remote locations in which the state's wheelers and dealers meet up for inking big land deals and also some prostitute sex on the side. The group of cops finds that they've messed with the wrong group as they're forced to defend their own lives from aforementioned wheelers and dealers attempting to cover up their dirty land-deal-and-sex secrets, and also one of them has a son who might not be his and the other might be secretly gay.
4. One man, one empty unnamed planet, one single take. That's four hours long.
5. The Government has formed a secret coalition to snuff out would-be criminals by hacking into your thoughts. It began as a plot to deter terrorist activity and other crimes, but they soon graduate to petty theft and social norm violations. Is feeling the swift hand of justice slap you on the wrist for your failure to wipe up after yourself at the company kitchen sink going too far? An intrepid lawyer from the deep south dares to take on the country and say, "Hell yes."
6. A group of dream architects has gone rogue to break into the dreams of innocent Americans...and change the subjects of all of their sex dreams from Ryan Gosling to Seth Rogen from the Bound 2 parody.
7. It's the summer of '69, and a brazen department of NASA engineers has a plot that will shake the world at its very core. And it may or may not involve cutouts of Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin.