Today, Apple is making the world's dreams come true.
That is, if your dreams consist of spending your entire paycheck on office supplies. The company's CEO Tim Cook took the stage at this morning's announcement event to finally reveal all soon-to-be-legendary products that his engineers have been working on. There's the fancy new Apple TV, which lets users ask Siri to find a movie to watch. There's the iPad Pro, which is basically a laptop that can detach from its keyboard. And then there's the Apple Pencil.
That's right, for the low, low price of $99, people across the world can replace their old No. 2's for a sleek metal version that does exactly the same thing. What better way to show your coworkers that you make more money than by pimping up your writing utensils?
Of course, in all seriousness, the Apple Pencil is actually just the company's cheeky name for the spiffy new stylus that comes with the iPad Pro. It will help users, like, tap around on the screen and other stuff (you know, presentations). And yes, for those of you wondering, this was definitely done without the blessing of the late, great Steve Jobs.
All memories of the former CEO aside, the people at large are not taking this new product addition lying down. A company can't just charge $99 for something they're calling a pencil without some major Twitter backlash. Mostly, Apple followers are just trying to figure out if this thing is for real. Is it an Onion article gone IRL? Is it a taping for a Funny or Die video? Is this the next Jimmy Kimmel twerking episode?
But really, nobody knows.
apple pencil is a college humor video— Ashley Feinberg (@ashfein) September 9, 2015
We all just watched a video about how Apple spent millions of dollars to duplicate what a pencil does.— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) September 9, 2015
Hey Apple, I know you?ve got a $100 pencil but this one works too. pic.twitter.com/fIvxUjRtZ8— Austin Evans (@austinnotduncan) September 9, 2015
If there's an Apple pencil how about the apple pencil sharpener?— Sean Marshall (@_legohead_) September 9, 2015
Apple Pencil comes in anodized aluminum, stainless steel, quinoa, and rose quinoa finishes.— Ian Bogost (@ibogost) September 9, 2015
That illustration of the Pencil was the best form of art I've ever seen. #Apple— Ankit (@i_ankitjain) September 9, 2015
APPLE PENCIL??? Steve Jobs is rolling over in his grave. He hated the idea of a stylus #AppleEvent— StackSocial (@StackSocial) September 9, 2015
The Apple Pencil will debut at $999,999.99— Mezrahi, Samir (@samir) September 9, 2015
If you thought Apple Pencil was a work of genius, wait till you see pic.twitter.com/mXxiYwnSwh— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) September 9, 2015
Now I just need an apple pencil case and ruler then my stationary dreams will be realised. #AppleEvent— Niki Albon (@NikiAlbon) September 9, 2015
#ApplePencil better be able to open doorways to other universes at that price.— Nicola W. (@thewickedpowers) September 9, 2015
The #ApplePencil is £64. Let me just repeat that: SIXTY-FOUR POUNDS— Andrew Trotman (@TeleTrotman) September 9, 2015