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Brody Jenner, Eva Longoria, Cisco Adler

Gre Tidwell, Pacificcoastnews.com/FAME/Gregg DeGuire/Getty Images

Brody Jenner, celebrating his big 2-5 at Coco De Ville on La Cienega. A complete girlie and guylie madhouse, yum! Gaggles of gals were fighting for some eye contact with B-day boy B.J. (lovely initials, no?), who was dressed in a black tee and cap—way to dress up, dude. All the H'wood wannabes spent the soiree arguing who'd "known him longer." Sorry, sweets, if you want to get a celeb's attention, ya gotta be one yourself. There weren't too many sober souls in the place, trust, but of course, we don't mean our own very darling Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton...or do we? Love that even Bro-babe's Hills ex, L.C., slunk into the lounge to party. Enjoying a more domestic debauchery was...

Eva Longoria-Parker, visiting her own restaurant, Beso, on a Tuesday night. The VIP ELP—who waltzed in with her totally tall hubby, Tony, makin' her look even more petite—was wearing white capris and a matching flowy top. Let the pregnancy poop grow even more and climb on board the baby bump express, folks. Eva-hon looked totally head over stiletto heels—prolly 'cause (a) she saw how busy her eatery was on a Tuesday night, and, more likely, (b) the cameras were there, snapping away. Painting the town red in a less refined way was...

Cisco Adler, at Hell-Ay's Foxtail on a Friday night. Not so much inside the swank place, as hanging in the alley out back. What, was he waiting for a plate of spaghetti and meatballs to be served to him à la Lady and the Tramp? Mischa's ex-man was hanging with an assortment of leather-wearing guys and gals, all givin' our icked-out set of eyes the creeps. Cissy himself offered a slimy smile as our source slunk past. Mischa, first it was this grease lump, then it was blond hair? What are you smoking?

—With additional English-effin' reportage by Becky Bain