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Penelope Cruz, Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Victor Bello/TWC 2008

Vicky costar Chris Messina dished to us at the premiere about the lip-licious ScarJo-Penélope Cruz hookup that’s heating up the goss-geist so much right now. “There is a steamy scene, but there’s a lot of steam all over the movie. So that’s just one kernel of steam,” C.M. winked. Woody Allen made a whole movie called Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex* But Were Afraid to Ask, remember, so we know he isn't scared of exposing some sexy merde onscreen. However, it sure looks like Wood-hon’s caught onto this lesbian-chic thing currently thriving in H'wood, and he’s smart enough to steal some of this sapphic style for press. Messina disagreed: “I think Woody Allen’s past all that,” he retorted. “I think it’s a love story about a bunch of people in search of something, so in that moment, those two women are just in search of something.” It’s called an orgasm. You can say it, Chrissy.

We also asked superperky Penélope Cruz for deets on the girl-on-girl action, and she was superdismissive: “[Scarlett] and I have been asked that question a million times—sorry, we have no funny stories to tell you!” 'Course, that means, "We’ve got no goods to give to you." (Tom taught this bitch a little too well, we say.) So, readers, you’re on your own here to conjure up salacious images of Pen-hon and ScarJo going at it, hair and mucous membranes quivering. Also, we bet anything you create in your minds is a helluva lot sexier than whatever Linds and Sam are doing behind closed doors.