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Regis Philbin comes from a simpler time. Specifically, a time when the only orgasm a woman had was the kind her husband assumed he gave her. But times have changed, and Reg is none too pleased about it.

Oh, how Regis longs for the days when men would drag their knuckles along the ground towards the circle of rocks outside their cave that future societies would later call a gym, lift the rocks high in the air to get in shape for wooly mammoth hunting season, all while woman stay in cave with fire and make food for man to fill belly so he have energy to mate.

Oh, how happy Regis was then...