So, while the Federal Bureau of Investigation wasn't catching Osama Bin Laden, it was piling up the paperwork on Michael Jackson.
The FBI today released seven files it compiled on the late singer from 1992-2005—333 pages of evidence-gathering, rambling letters from a guy who thought he was John Gotti's son and really hard to read handwriting. Highlights include a heretofore undisclosed 1995 child-porn investigation, which went nowhere.
You can read all the files here yourself, or you can peruse the best lines, quotes and other stuff we found in 'em. Let's get started: