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Blind Vice

Dear Ted:
Are Tobey Yum-Yum and Me-Me Dallas the same age, and are they musicians or actors? Please give us some hints on this couple. How about this: Do their names rhyme with Smiley Fyrus and Lick Bonus? (Am I hot or cold?) Haha. Please give us hints.

Dear Hilarious:
That wasn't exactly so well disguised! Tobey and MeMe are def in the same age bracket. They're multi-talented.

Dear Ted:
& Co.—Not Gays—Make Mockery of Marriage. Ted, you're so spot on with this. All this Woods stuff has made me nauseous, too. I used to be quite the religious girl, but it had left me with such a bitter taste of major hypocrisy and irrationality that I passed on it long ago. I think too many citizens of this country still hold onto religious canons with clenched fists while their eyes (and bodies) wander about! I swear it's all these religious men with power that pull all the strings. Cheating family man, no biggie. Women on awards shows making out, no biggie. Gay men kissing—oh no! I'm married with a couple little ones, I consider myself a virtuous person, and thanks to amazing people like yourself and Ellen, I've grown to have a far deeper respect for the gay community. I'll take happy gossip of gay couples over this nasty Woods stuff anyday!

Dear Here, Here:
Glad to hear it, babe, and thanks. That's great you can respect religion enough to think for yourself. More should follow suit.

Dear Ted:
Love the blolum. What do you want for Christmas?

Dear Naughty or Nice:
Right now...new lungs. This bronchitis is killing me!

Dear Ted:
I don't know about you, but I'm so sick of Tiger's wood, I could barf! His dick just isn't that interesting to me. Go figure. I don't care about how many women he had, who they are, why he wrecked his car, lost his endorsement or if he has 15 STD's. Head's up tiger (pun intended), these babes aren't interested in your dick either, only your bank account. Even if they are seriously disrespecting themselves in the process, I guess they're having the last laugh. I'm on media overload with this story. Enough already.

Dear Meetchya Halfway:
I'm with ya on the overload, but here's the thing. Anyone that gets the Gosselins off my radar is welcomed. And also, the reason this story has so much weight to it is because Tiger's the last person the public expected to do this. It's the first time he's actually been human and not some billionaire perfect freak of nature (not that I think his actions are excusable).

Dear Ted:
Where is all the news coverage, or celebs that should be speaking out against the proposed anti-gay bill in Uganda that seeks to apply the death penalty to people with AIDS, and life imprisonment for gays? The story has made all the major news sources although far from front page attention while being known for a while?

Dear Politically Aware:
It's horrendous. I can't believe some parts of the world are so far behind in the times. My heart goes out to the people there.

Dear Ted:
Does Tobey Yum-Yum sing?

Dear Yummy Voice:
Sure—who doesn't in the car? Or did you mean professionally?

Dear Ted:
Gossip Cop first debunked Rob Pattinson's "I'm Single" statement in the VF Italy interview by stating that the comment was made in May and then they wrote, "So sites trying to pass off the tidbit as having anything to do with Pattinson's current relationship status are seven months off... and wrong." Then, hours later, Gossip Cop changed this final statement to read, "So sites trying to pass off the tidbit as having anything to do with Pattinson's relationship status are seven months off." Isn't this weird? Why the change? Did someone get mad...or in trouble because of the first version?
I'm reading too many gossip sites

Dear Good Catch:
I think the folks at Gossip Cop are in good with Rob's people (who don't comment on his life), so if R.Pattz's handler say delete...they probably delete. Just a guess. You want Rob's folks in your corner. They aren't in ours!

Dear Ted:
The current times have left me a tad bit down. Alas, my method of escaping from life by living vicariously through the lives of starlets is always thwarted when it's revealed to me that those particular starlets are not the nicest of young ladies. I would rather not waste my precious good vibes on such nasty little bitches. Would you be so kind as to give me a list of nice actresses for me to wish well? My best to you.
Coffee + Romance Novels

Dear Holiday Spirit:
Anne Hathaway
, Rachel McAdams, Natalie Portman for starters. Those are good role models, which means they obviously aren't interesting by starlet standards.

Dear Ted:
I love your blog and am an A.T. addict. Anyway, here's my question: I've lived in WeHo for some time now and am quite aware of most of the "closeted" characters in your Blind Vice section. Some of them aren't so sneaky about their traipses with testosterone, though, and I'm positive have been nabbed by the papz on a number of occasions. Why have they never been shown with their closet concubines in the tabloids then? Are their PR agents just that good? Combine the fact that us gays love to gab and that various "closeted" individuals aren't exactly super sleuths, how have they not been outed yet?
Lips and Lashes, Crunch Cutie

Dear Welcome to the Neighborhood:
How do you think we get any of our Blind Vice material? We hear the WeHo chatter...but it's a legal nightmare to actually straight out them (no pun intended) as well as getting too invasive even for my taste. Just wish those queens could do it themselves!

Dear Ted:
First a statement: I read E! News every night before I go to bed and I top it off by reading your columns. Well last night the website wasn't working on my phone—so I couldn't sleep! It was horrible! Now a question: Who is your all time favorite celeb? not just to write about but in general. like the one who you would love to be best friends with if you're not. I honestly feel like mine would be Kristen Stewart...love her. Thanks for being so awesome!

Dear Fun One:
Doll, thanks heaps, but, you need someone to help you do more interesting things in bed.

Dear Ted:
Is Harry Fun-Tanked a musician and would anyone be shocked to learn of his drug habit?

Dear Singing Detective:
Yes and no.

Dear Ted:
You have made my day today, and boy are you on a role with Tiger! Could not wait to click when you said Holly Sampson "articulately explains" and you didn't disappoint. Please get a spot on ET every night. It will boost their ratings. Who do I need to contact?

Dear Silly Sampson:
Thanks babe—glad you enjoy it!

Dear Ted:
Two things, Ted. Please remind people that winter is here and to think about their outside pets and to keep them warm and watered. Then I have a question about Eclipse. Do you think David Slade is sweating it with New Moon pulling in so much money? It seems with each movie that comes out, the pressure is truly on the new director. There is just nothing out there about Eclipse...should the fans worry? What's with Breaking Dawn anything out there, director, one part, two part?

Dear Definitly:
The pressures on for David, for sure. Although, if Eclipse does worse than New Moon I think that would reflect badly on Chris Weitz because that would mean New Moon was so unbearable people don't want to give any of the other films a chance. As for BD no word on director, they want Weitz back. They're still hot on the 2 part idea.

Dear Ted:
Quick question. How do you think Kate Moss and Johnny Depp feel about LiLo's "iconic" (ha!) photoshoot. Much love!

Dear Too Good:
I bet they don't know who Lindsay Lohan is.

Dear Ted:
After your Morning Piss, I wanted to share my experience with gay unions. My father is gay and has been in a committed relationship for over 20 years. I refer to his husband as my stepdad and my children call him their "bonus grandfather". I have learned more from them about being in a committed relationship and a responsible adult than my mother, who is on her 5th husband in 23 years. I dearly pray for the day when Dad and his husband can truly be married as they would like. When I hear people knock gay marriage, I want to scream. Heteros don't have a monopoly on monogamy or commitment to love. In my world, gay is family and normal. And I love it that way!

Dear Foreword Thinker:
What a modern family you have, it's too cool.


Check out our Blind Vice section here!