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Tiger Woods, Sam Alexis, Kultida Woods, Elin Nordegren

Lester Cohen / Getty Images

Something tells us Tiger Woods wishes his name were "Turtle" right about now. At least then he could go hide in his shell.

In an audio recording obtained by E! News, neighbor Jarius Adams tells the Florida Highway Patrol that the golfer was snoring as he lay on the lawn outside his SUV shortly after his car collision with a fire hydrant early Nov. 27.

But the revelations in the interview get far more humiliating than that.

Kimberly Harris, Adams' sister and the 911 caller, told officials that both Tiger's mother, Kultida, and his mother-in-law, Barbro Holmberg, arrived on the scene shortly after the police and security guards.

Can you imagine?!

"It appears Mr. Woods' mom and Tiger's wife's mom came out after the fact," Harris said. "I don't know if they heard the commotion. I don't if she, his wife, left and came back. But they walked across the grass and were outside as well."

If his and Elin Nordegren's moms were there for the crash, then they were most likely also present for the supposed argument about Tiger's alleged mistress(es) that took place sometime after Thanksgiving dinner.



Keeping up with this Woods melodrama is easier said than done. That's why there's this.