J.Lo's Ex: There's "Maybe One Spanking," but I'm Not Selling a Sex Tape

Jennifer Lopez, Ojani Noa Kevin Mazur/AMA 2009/Getty Images; Barry King/Getty Images

Ojani Noa says he's moved on since his brief marriage to Jennifer Lopez more than a decade ago.

Minus the 12-year-old home movies he's peddling and his desire to make a feature-length comedy that touches on their courtship, that is.

Noa, 35, has admitted to trying to sell footage of himself and Lopez from back in the day, but, he added, there is no graphic sexual activity on the video—and therefore no one should be making such a big deal about it.

"They think I have a sex tape with her and that I'm trying to sell it," Noa says in an exclusive interview with E! News. "My tape is from our honeymoon, the wedding, us hanging out. There's no nudity—maybe one spanking.

"There's moments of her fighting with her mom...couples having fun and kissing. If someone has a sex tape, it's not me."

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Criminal Minds Sneak Peeks: The Reaper Returns to Terrorize Hotch

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Hold on to your sofas, TV fans, because Wednesday night's 100th episode of Criminal Minds is going to be superscary! C. Thomas Howell is back as George "The Reaper" Foyet, and he's got Hotch's (Thomas Gibson) family in his evil clutches. Honestly, we're not sure that Haley (Meredith Monroe) is going to make it. Eek!

Click in to see J.J. (A.J. Cook) defend Hotch to that mean lady who runs the BAU division of the FBI along with other sneak peeks of Wednesday night's craziness!

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Rihanna Sings Threesome, Avoids Going Naked on GMA

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Rihanna almost brought a little too much to her TV concert comeback on Good Morning America.

Two days after performing solo at the American Music Awards, Rihanna made her much-anticipated way to the morning show's outdoor stage in NYC this morning to sing a whopping three tunes: "Wait Your Turn," "Russian Roulette," and fan (and remix) favorite "Umbrella."

But what about that slight lag between new besties Diane Sawyer and Robin Roberts announcing Rihanna and the singer's appearance on the stage?

Two words: wardrobe malfunction.

"I'm a little too fat right now, my dress…the zip busted in the back," the svelte-as-always Rihanna explained. "They're like, 'A minute to live,' I'm like, 'Oh my god!' They wanted to stitch it up, but I couldn't."

But it wasn't all body talk. After performing her new single, "Wait Your Turn," the superstar paid her now usual lip service to the oh-so-perfect timing of her new album, Rated R.

"It came very natural, only because it was my place of peace, being in the studio, just venting," she said of the post-Chris Brown-attack process of recording the album.

"It was the one place where I didn't feel judged or criticized, I just wanted to sit and make great music. Every emotion that I was going through at the time throughout making the record went into that album, and you can hear it in the songs."

The album, a surefire No. 1 if ever there was one, was released yesterday.

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Rihanna looked good at the AMAs. Check out who didn't (hint: everyone else) with our Fashion Police roundup.

TLC Lets the Door Hit Jon (Not So Much Kate) on the Way Out

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At this point, there's almost nothing we don't already know about Jon and Kate Gosselin.

He likes Ed Hardy, ticking every box off the midlife crisis checklist and demanding privacy from the paparazzi, unless of course they want to patronize his lemonade stand or capture him bringing flowers to his ex-wife. His dislikes include spell-check and Nancy Grace.

She, on the other hand, enjoys employing ghost writers to pen cookbooks on organic food, berating her personality-challenged husband and recouping hundreds of thousands of dollars that were rightfully hers to begin with. She's not such a fan of anything less than industrial-strength pomade.

This much we know.

But TLC is reminding us of a few other Gosselin truths that have gotten lost along the way in the torn-apart family's reality swan song, as Jon & Kate Plus 8 comes to its confessional- and montage-filled series end tonight.

Like, no matter how heinous you think their parents are—and at this point it is just a matter of degrees—those Plus 8 are downright adorable (and, lest we forget, the reason viewers flocked in the first place).

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Rob, Kristen and Taylor's Best Talk Show Moments

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Happy New Moon weekend, everyone! We gotta hand it to Rob, Kristen and Taylor, they all worked so hard over the past month to promote their little vampire movie, which culminated last night in a three-way (pre-taped) interview on Jimmy Kimmel Live. Now they can all go back to their normal lives. For Taylor that means pumping iron and practicing back flips all day, while Rob and Kristen lurk around the shadows of Chateau Marmont.

But before we say goodbye to the gang until they resurface for Eclipse this summer, we thought we'd put together our favorite moments from the past week's talk show appearances. (And there were a lot of them—Ellen, Conan, Leno, Letterman, Jimmy Fallon, Today, Regis and Kelly.)

Usually they’re met with the same questions: Did you ever expect this to be so big? How is this movie different from the last? OMG, fans are so crazy, right? They scream so much! How did you bulk up to play Jacob Black? Are you dating Kristen? What do you think of your Barbie? Will you throw this football? (Both Taylor and Kristen had to do that, btw.)

Still, there were some fun moments to be had and we've compiled them all right here just in case you fell asleep while Taylor talked about his workout regime for the 13th time.

Let's see what we got:

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Inside Janet Jackson's AMA "Make Me" Run-Through

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Janet Jackson may be about to answer the musical question, "What Have You Done for Me Lately?" A source who caught Jackson rehearsing Friday for her upcoming American Music Awards performance says the "Nasty" singer appears poised for a major comeback.

"Even though Janet was marking most of the dance moves today, the choreography is obviously very complicated, and she knew it all by heart," says the eyewitness. "She looked really strong and at ease onstage."

The singer is expected to perform her new song, "Make Me," to kick off Sunday's AMAs. We're guessing some of her routine may be cribbed from her new video for the song (see above), which features a vintage Janet vibe, including space-age shoulder pads and countless hat-tips to brother Michael.

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Jason Segel Gets Really Personal With Fans

We've got your number, Jason Segel. Now if we could just get the image of your naked body out of our brains, we'd be set.

The multitalented How I Met Your Mother star popped up at the show by the Swell Season—the Oscar-winning duo from the film Once—at Los Angeles' Wiltern Theater last night. He came in hopes of charming one (or more!) of the band's fans with a new song he'd written just for the occasion about love, sex and his FX-free penis.

Sample lyric: "Remember when I showed my penis in Forgetting Sarah Marshall/Well, there were no special effects, no no special effects/So if you like what you saw, it's exactly what I'm working with."

We have no idea if the come-on worked, but if it did, we're pretty sure he'll write a song about it.

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His penis not doing it for you? Check out our Hottest Hotties gallery instead.

Levi Johnston Flips Sarah Palin the Proverbial Bird

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Looks like Thanksgiving dinner at Aunt Katie's won't be happening this year.

Hearing that his former future mother-in-law, Sarah Palin, is a bit heartbroken by his decision to pose for Playgirl, Levi Johnston thought neither long nor hard and announced that he couldn't care less.

"You know what, I don't care if she sees them," he said of the not-full-frontal photos he took for the magazine, when E!'s cameras caught up with him today at L.A. International Airport.

"Who cares about what she says or does? I don't care. Forget about her," he said.

It's very obvious that the 19-year-old father of Palin's grandson, Tripp, doesn't care what she thinks, which is that Levi is "on a road that's not a healthy place to be."

True, the traffic on the road leading out of LAX is an accident waiting to happen...

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Carrie Prejean, for one, cares what Sarah Palin thinks.

Taylor Jacobson Talks Twilight Fashion, Confirms Split With Rachel Zoe

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It's done.

"I no longer work for Rachel, we separated. We are divorced. I'm not in touch with anyone. It's done," Taylor Jacobson confirms exclusively to E! News in her first interview since leaving the employ of stylist to the stars Rachel Zoe.

Despite spending two years as a main character on Bravo's The Rachel Zoe Project, Jacobson says she won't miss seeing herself on the show.

Because she never watched it!

"I never watch it. Never, ever, ever! I've never seen a whole episode. I've seen clips, but that's all," Jacobson reveals to E! "It wasn't entertaining to me because it was just my job and it was just being filmed, so I didn't see a reason to watch it."

Jacobson says she admires artists like Lady Gaga and Katy Perry, and hopes to get into more music-related projects. As well, she's already moved onto new TV ventures, such as contributing her expertise to E!'s New Moon-themed installment of Fashion Police along with Giuliana Rancic and Louise Roe.

Check out Taylor in action in the above clip as she turns her discerning eye on Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson.

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Watch E!'s Fashion Police: New Moon and check out the gorgeous goings-on in our New Moon Premiere gallery.

Beyoncé and Lady Gaga Join Forces. Meh

Today brings more Lady Gaga in a music video. This time, it's for what was supposed to be an epic duet between Beyoncé and Gaga for "Video Phone."

Now, because Gaga is just a guest in B's world, she has to tone down the crazy, which gives us a glimpse at what she would look like if she were just a normal pop star: No over-the-top costumes, silly makeup or razor sunglasses—just a good old wind machine, long perfect blond weave and leotard. Pretty underwhelming.

But this is really Beyoncé's music video, so let's not forget about her. While the song is not "Single Ladies" catchy, that doesn't stop B from bringing the fierce, even when it means ripping off Rihanna's style at the beginning or Bettie Page in the middle. And she does look cute all '40s pinup style, so no complaints here.

But wait, there's more. Beyoncé returns the favor, singing/rapping on Gaga's upcoming EP, The Fame Monster, on a track that is also phone related: "Telephone." (Check it out after the jump.) It'll be interesting to see if Beyoncé will go all Gaga should they do a music video and if it would look as awkward as Lady Gaga looks in "Video Phone" (or in last night's Gossip Girl appearance).

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Glee Sneaks: Look Who's Got a Crush on Teacher!

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This week's all-new installment of Glee is called "Ballad," and it centers on Rachel Berry's (Lea Michele) new and inappropriate crush on "Mr. Shu" (Matthew Morrison). As Mr. Shu tries to manage Rachel's feelings, he recalls another schoolgirl-crush situation that plagued him in the past. And that young lady is none other than the always divine Sarah Drew as Suzy Pepper. We caught up with Sarah a few weeks back to discuss her guest gig on Grey's Anatomy and she tipped us off about what to expect from her Glee part:

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Video: Mariah Carey Wants to Know What Love Is

Mimi has really come to play on her version of Foreigner's rock-ballad classic "I Want to Know What Love Is." She's scouting the elusive "L" in a packed baseball stadium, watching her tiny self sing in the center of the diamond from the huge video replay monitors.

If the setting is grandiose, her musical taste is clearly down-to-earth. She shows restraint in the verses and the first chorus with a breathy, emotional voice, before the inevitable pyrotechnics later in the song: the gospel choir eruption, hitting the dog-whistle high notes, the naked emotionalism mixed with amazing technical accomplishment—you know, the whole Mariah Carey thing.

It definitely microwaves our burrito, but what did you think? Is this an instant classic or instantly forgettable cheese? Let us know in the comments section.

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The Big Picture

All Growed Up Guess Zac has officially adopted the smoldering look, 'cause we haven't seen a smile in weeks

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