You don't get to the top of the music industry without guts, strength and fearlessness, attributes Beyoncé Knowles has in abundance.

Yet even the grand songstress is a feeble fawn in the headlights when confronted by the horrifying Hydra tag team of Hoda and Kathie Lee, spewing Grammy facts and figures.

Wow, these two should've been put on grill duty in Gitmo.

__________

Check out Ms. Knowles and the melodic glitterati in our 2010 Grammys: Arrivals gallery.

The tears are falling like soap opera clichés on The Bachelor as spineless, whiny Ali (not named after Muhammad, it turns out) must choose between her job and staying on the show.

We know it makes no sense, but apparently that's what was in the script. Spoiler alert: She chooses the job. Those tips at Hooters must be really good.

But Jake is heartbroken. His potential wife is gone.

And he can't leave the show himself to pursue his love, or Chris Harrison will deftly, cleanly shoot him with a small yet high caliber handgun at the base of his skull, just above the collar.

__________

Looking for even more Bachelory goodness? Click into our Sneaky Bachlors gallery!

"Pop culture's latest unexplainable phenomenon: Beautiful and innocent young sweethearts who fall for self-absorbed, overly-tanned, tattoo covered douchebags."

Per the website, that's the premise of MTV's Is She Really Going Out With Him?

But who knew the tattoo-covered douchebag could be a lady? Who calls herself a "pretty boy." Who isn't even tan.

One thing's for sure: This ain't your grandfather's unexplainable pop culture phenomenon show.

__________

Do you know who else has lady parts? Lady Gaga, that's who. Have a look.

See what Danialle Fishell's serving up on The Dish.

Come back for more Saturday nights at 10 p.m. ET/PT.

What's worse than starting your morning with Kathie Lee Gifford on Today making jokes about a man's testicles?

When she's making them about an old man's testicles.

If, for some reason, you haven't been glued to Fox's new reality gang-dating travesty Seducing Cindy, we'll get you up to speed.

The Cindy in question is aging pinup Cindy Margolis. According to the show's web page, she is not only an "American icon" but an "Internet icon." Despite such status, she can't find her "ultimate soul mate." So she's looking on Fox.

And while that may be difficult, seducing her is apparently a piece of cake.

Particularly if you look like an insane pirate with appaling facial hair and have a knack for tempering your seduction game with a touch of brute force. 

Smooth.

Sports Soup sings the praises of Tim Tebow.

Look for more sporting action Tuesday nights at 10 p.m. ET/PT on Versus.

• You can learn a lot from watching The Soup. Especially about Jersey Shore. Ask Anderson Cooper.

• Robinhood stole from the rich. The Bling Ring stole from the rich and stupid, at least in one case. Paris Hilton, anyone?

• Kissing a hottie who jumps in bed with you is icky. If you're The Bachelor.

• The men of Mantracker apparently aren't comfortable dealing with thick bush. But then the show is called Mantracker.

• In the world of Sports Soup, an Italian man speaks the universal language. Of hysteria.

Nothing says fierce, man-to-man competiton like a drag race.

Especially the kind where the men dress as ladies, of which giggly host RuPaul is king.

But it's not all about padded bras, wigs that would humble Dolly Parton and tucked-up man junk. 

Sometimes it's about the Bible. And Tyra. A different Tyra than the one who trots out women with double vajayjays. Right, it sounds complex. Best just to watch the clip.

And come back to scope even more delights, gay and otherwise, tonight at 10 p.m. on a sweet young Soup.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Apparently to allow a KTLA news reporter the chance to make every fowl pun possible.

Speaking of chickens, Bachelor Jake Pavelka is handsome, bland and weeps copiously. What does he need besides a wife and some tissue? A sound verbal bitch-slapping from Regis Philbin, of course.

What can top that shocker? Tyra and her pals with extra vaginas, natch!

And where there are extra vaginas, there are extra laughs, as Joel McHale so deftly proves. He'll make good on even more yucks on a new Soup tonight at 10 p.m. ET/PT. Don't miss it!

Ancient Larry King has been at the interviewing game a long time.

A long, long time. And let's face it, when a man gets old, the memory starts going…

So perhaps he can be forgiven when he can't quite nail what may be the most famous line Jack Nicholson ever uttered onscreen, from A Few Good Men.

Of course, it wouldn't be the first time Larry's slipped. Historians may recall when L.K. asked Abe Lincoln about, "that five score and twenty minutes ago thing, er, whatever."

_______

There's more laughs like that in the Soup blog video gallery. Check it out now!

How can we pack so much Soup-soaked action into one tiny blog post? We just make the clips really short.

Why not? It works for Inside Edition, where Ann Curry in an elevator and a family happily on fire are just the tip of the breaking-news highlights. And then on Kitchen Nightmares, chef Gordon Ramsay's generously obnoxious ways are upstaged by—wait for it—an old lady. And she's not even British!

And when it comes to upstaging (or at least confusing), you can always rely on the foreign charms of Namaste America, here offering a scene so strange we shan't even begin to describe it.

Leave that to the upstager of them all, your very own Joel McHale, who will serve a full-sized helping of scorching Soup tonight at 10 p.m. ET/PT.

Get him while he's hot!

_______

Can't wait 'til then? Check out the Soup blog video gallery now!