Flynetonline.com; E! Networks

As Jonas fans (and, really, that’s all of us) know, brother Nick turned 16 yesterday. The tousle-haired tween sensation had revealed his special birthday wish to Twist magazine: “I want a dog. A big dog!” he gushed, then presumably clapped his hands together and giggled wildly as he rolled on the top bunk of this three-tier bed, clutching an oversize Garfield pillow.

Apparently, that wish has come true, as a golden retriever puppy named Elvis is now calling Nick master. We decided to get Lou's  take on the new Jonas pet. We caught up with him at the Santa Monica dog park where he was lying in the shade, rolling dice with a few old pals from the kennel.

“Wait! Snake eyes! Damn. OK, what is it? Oh, that Jonas punk’s puppy. Lemme tell ya this, Nicky boy’s in for a surprise with that one! That dog is crazy, a real wild animal, from what I hear. Likes to go nutsy with the expensive shoes, chews ’em like they was pistachios. And he loves to pee, big-time, and I ain’t just talking hydrants. Sofas, ottomans, liquor cabinets, erotic statuary, stuffed toys—those Jonas kids probably have lots of those laying around—he don’t care. I mean, this Elvis guy must have a bladder the size of a freakin’ Buick. And don't turn your back on a steak with him in the room, but I doubt any of them Jonas sweeties would know a decent rib eye if it nailed 'em in the keester. Speaking of which, I'm hungry. You're buying."