Bitch-Back! What to Call Tiger's Supposed Ladies?

Readers upset with terminology used regarding Tiger Woods scandal

Dear Ted:
I've never written to any columnist before, but I've always liked your column. That being said, it is totally not okay to call women "sluts" "slut-wreckers" "whores" or whatever else you want to refer to them. While you may not agree with their actions, those are offensively loaded, sexist terms that are incredibly inappropriate. I advocate for your rights, try not stomping all over mine (and don't try to argue that calling a man a slut is the same thing, because it just ain't).
—W

Dear Women's Rights:
My apologies for offending you, but there are a lot of things to be said here. What would you prefer to call some of Tiger's girls coming forward? If half of them aren't acting like text-book skanks then I don't know who is. I never like making a group feel isolated, so I'm sorry. Too many women use "slut" "ho" or whatever as a greeting or friggin' term of endearment nowadays, it's become just another word in our vocabulary. Not saying it's right, but it's true. I think the better solution is just coming up with an equally sleazy word for guys. 'Cause there are too many people doing slutty-ass things—just like slut king himself, Tiger—to let it go unnoticed.

Dear Ted:
I have a question about Bradley Cooper. We all know that he has been a Blind Vice, and I believe he was included in the Superstars Gallery. Is his Vice as old as his Alias days, or is this something that has come up during his Hangover fame?
—Julie

Dear Something Borrowed, Something New:
A Tiger doesn't change its stripes, now does it? The Vice goes back to his Alias days, sure.

Dear Ted:
Your reader that called Tiger's women "whores" is somewhat missing out on another perspective. I think they were using Tiger as much as he was using them—financially, emotionally, sexually. It made them feel powerful and special. In this age, women are liberated enough to have power over their own sexuality and make decisions regarding how free they want to be with their bodies (hopefully being careful). But what ticks me off about this situation is that these "other" women tromped all over his wife. I don't care what Tiger said about his wife or his marriage, how unhappy he was or what a shrew she was—a woman should never put another woman through that. It's cruel and selfish.
—Ebby

Dear True, But...:
While I'm all for a woman embracing her sexuality, I don't condone it when it's at the expense of a marriage. Do I think Tiger manipulated a few of these girls? Sure. But I also think they were blinded by his fame and money they don't care what legal vows they step on to get in his bed. What's a better word to call them?

Dear Ted:
We beg of you. Find out the truth about Rob and Kris. New Moon may have passed, but our love of this twosome hasn't. We need answers and u r who we trust.
—Desperately Seeking Robsten

Dear Overdramatic:
What truth needs to be found? They're still hard at work!

Dear Ted:
I really enjoy your "Awful Truth." Have you ever noticed how large Angelina Jolie's pupils are when she is photographed on the red carpet? Standing next to Brad with flash bulbs going off all around her, and Brad's squinting and his pupils are tiny and hers are huge. What is the reason for this? Has she had some kind of head injury that would make her pupils not contract when light hits them, or what?
—Just wondering

Dear Shutter Bug:
What are other causes of large pupils?

Dear Ted:
Love your site and you! Really hope you can answer this, it would make my day. Which Is Michael C. Hall most like in real like even a little bit, is he more like his character David Fisher from Six Feet Under, or more like Dexter Morgan?

Dear Snooping Dexter:
I would say Dexter is a good match 'cause MCH has his secrets.

Dear Ted:
So we all know Kelly Ripa was rated "Best Celeb Mom of 2008" but has she ever been a BV? Also, what's up with her weight does she really just exercise a lot or is she like the rest of Hollywood with her eating habits?
—Gabrielle

Dear Ripping Ripa:
I heart Kelly, think she's a doll (mostly)! If you have that much money, you can afford the kind of gym she goes to to stay fit.

Dear Ted:
I love Twilight and I'm a huge fan of Up in the Air at the moment. Anna Kendrick is a fantastic actress, she is way better than Kristen and in my opinion held her own in New Moon. I was wondering if any of the more famous Twilight cast are jealous of her new found fame and her Golden Globe nomination?
—Michael

Dear Green With Envy:
I'm sure most of the cast is quite happy for Anna. All of these actors certainly have different types of fame. Like we said a while ago, Anna had the best chance at breaking out of the Twilight mold, but some of those franchised girls may like to be more famous than more critically respected.

Dear Ted:
Ted is Robsten still together or was it just for PR?
—Laud

Dear PR Mold:
They hardly were together for the sake of publicity.

Dear Ted:
Could there be a possibility that Rob Patz snuck into the premiere of The Lovely Bones because the people over at Summit are considering Peter Jackson to direct Breaking Dawn? It's a juicy thought. I think Pete would be amazing with regards to the CGI effects...don't want to give away spoilers.
—Diehard Twihard

Dear Jack Attack:
It's quite the interesting thought, and with the schmoozing that goes on in Hollywood not out of the question. No director has been nailed down for BD, yet.

Dear Ted:
I luvs ya mucho and read The Awful Truth every morning with my coffee. But I have to say that your response to a reader who had just moved to Texas from Miami disappointed me. Granted Gay and Lesbian Texans have had their fill of ups and downs but I am surprised you would advise someone to turn around and move back to Miami. I am a straight woman who has many friends in the Gay/Lesbian community here in Houston and we are all excited that the citizens of Houston have just elected the first openly gay mayor in a major US city. We are not all bad here in your home state.
—Sand  

Dear Tacky Texans:
Oh babe, it's all in fun! There are bad and good seeds in every state.

Dear Ted:
Hope the bronchitis cures you of smoking! Speaking of health, are you and your readers aware that side effects of prescription pain meds and antidepressants can include delusions of grandeur, thoughts of suicide alcoholism, anorexia, promiscuity and general emotional malfunctioning? Not to mention heart seizures, I have a dead sister and friend—both were beautiful, wholesome and successful before pills (not meth, not heroine) made them crazy then caused heart seizures, coma and death in their 30s. Now that the word is out on Tiger's behavior, I wonder if the Ambien and pain killers he's been prescribed haven't altered his personality. There are so many Lohan-esque zombies everywhere, maybe Tom Cruise has this one right.
—SB

Dear Michael Lohan:
I'm with ya, babe, prescription pills are probably some of the most lethal demons going around right now. They are easy to get (not prescribed) and dangerous when mixed. If you're not getting them from a doctor (or, rather, a trusted doctor) they can certainly be deadly. My deepest condolences to you for your sister and friend.

Dear Ted:
I love your latest blind item. Knowing that Toothy Tile and Gray Goose are still together and in love after so many years and in spite of all the obstacles warms my heart. Are they Wentworth Miller and Luke McFarlane? It would be beautiful if these two hotties are sweet Baby Tile's dads.
—Angela

Dear Right Idea:
But Toothy is far more relevant than either Wentworth or Luke.

Dear Ted:
Anne's question in the last BB and your response that the girls who slept with Tiger Woods are "whores" sounds like a lot of bitter. Tiger is the whore. Are these girls opportunists? Duh. But if he could have kept his fly zipped and been respectful to Elin, these women would not have had the opportunity. Please, less calling these women names and more focus on who the real problem is—the man who cheated.
—J

Dear Completely Agree:
You're right, Tiger's a huge whore. And then some. That guy has serious, serious issues. Just sayin' it takes two to horizontal tango. But if it makes you all feel better, I'm fine coming up with another term for "you're a promiscuous lying opportunist easy girl" which I think most of Tiger's side-dishes fall under. Thoughts?