Bitch-Back! Angelina Bouncing From Man to Man?

Is Angelina Jolie replacing Brad?

Dear Ted:
In your last Bitch-Back you said Angelina is waiting for Brad 2.0 to be her next target. Would this 2.0 have to be a younger man (à la Robert Pattinson) or does age not matter? I just heard a rumor that she might be doing a movie with Johnny Depp. Not that he could be lured away, but would he qualify in your book?
—Emmy

Dear Cougar Attack:
Depp def qualifies. We'll see what happens in their new film together...think we're gonna see a repeat of Pitt-Aniston situation?

Dear Ted:
Remember how a few weeks ago you spoke about a certain Twi castmember that would be talking about going gay? Did you happen to catch Nikki Reed's line in U.K. Glamour? If not, allow me to refresh your memory. When asked if she believes in soul mates she said: "I believe in multiple people. People are born with this desire to connect, that's why with girls the line is blurry. Is it a friendship? Is it a relationship?" Was she saying girls are a bunch of teases, or was she finally confessing to swaying the other way?
—Kanderson 

Dear Niksten:
Hey, she was close with Kristen; then that kinda died when Rob came into the picture. I'm saying it means something other than what we all think. There's definitely a story coming up for sure! But no, Nikki is neither Terry Tush-Trade or Rocky Trailer. 

Dear Ted:
Who's going to be People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive this year? Toothy Tile? Has he ever held that title?
—Mackenzie 

Dear Sexy Toothy:
No, Toothy hasn't won that coveted title, but he could be a contender.

Dear Ted:
Way to tell off the Twi haters in your B.B. Why can't everyone be as obsessed as we are? Losers! And why in the hell did you have to scare us with that picture of Nicole Kidman so early in the day? Take care of yourself.
—Steph

Dear Kidman Scare:
Thanks for the love hon! And I guess I'm just still in the Halloween mood!

Dear Ted:
My favorite celebrity couple is Zanessa, and I personally adore Vanessa Hudgens. I find her a sweet, well-centered and beautiful girl. Why is it that everybody hates her? It can't be because of Zac Efron, at least not anymore, since he's out of the spotlight and Rob is the new It guy. What about those people who claim they don't like her because of all the nude photos? Ashley Greene did the exact same thing and nobody gave her a hard time. What do you think about her?
—AnneC

Dear Hatin' on V:
Let's just say the clock is ticking on Vanefron—they'll be over in seconds, trust. Maybe it's the way Vanessa handled the nude situation—ya know, by lying? Ashley handled it way better by not opening her gorge trap.

Dear Ted:
I wanted to say thanks for always telling the truth no matter how awful it is. Excuse my play on words. Anyways I was just thinking Summit should pay you for all the friggin' publicity you give them. Also you need your own show. Any chance of that?
—Brwnie 

Dear FANtastic:
Now that you mention it, I am working on a show, across the pond though.

Dear Ted:
Question about the whole Angie-Brad-Jen triangle. Was the whole thing a stunt for publicity? Before Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Brad was the pretty boy of Hollywood, Jen was the good girl and Angie was the badass, but none of them had the publicity like they do now. Now you can't go a week without one of them being on the cover of a magazine. So was the whole love triangle invented as a publicity stunt to gain more press for all?
—Elizabeth

Dear Bermuda Triangle of Love :
Wishful thinking, hon-pie. But Brad left Jen just the way it looked. Only thing is, Angie looked like the trampy one out of it all, when in reality Brad and Jen were already on thin ice. 

Dear Ted:
Not a question, but a comment. Nicole Kidman was not responsible for Australia being a bomb. It was Baz Luhrmann. The editing was atrocious. The film did not gel. Nicole and Hugh Jackman played their respective parts well. She as the repressed, come-to-life socialite and he as the wrangler. If Baz had edited the film more tightly, taken out some of the story lines and made it less of an epic, it would have been a much better vehicle.
—Dv 

Dear Old-School:
Movie sucked, if it was Baz's fault or not. Tough luck. 

Dear Ted:
I'm sure the Gossip Girl "threesome" is going to be as lame as the man-on-man kiss, but it did get me wondering. Just how many G.G. stars have been Blind Vices?
—Curious 

Dear Badass Gossip:
There have been a few actually. 

Dear Ted:
I have to call shenanigans on this: "I mean, who wouldn't go kiss another woman at a concert, as Star has reported Martin as having done, if that was who you were married to?" Cheating on your spouse cannot be and should never be blamed on the victim. When you take a vow to remain faithful to one person, it is your own responsibility to uphold that vow. Your own, nobody else's. Either Chris Martin is a douche bag who cannot keep his hands (or other body parts) to himself or not. It's not like you're seriously implying that he's actually a nice guy whose boring shrew of a wife forces him to go around kissing random women, now are you?
—Agusta 

Dear Preacher:
Sure, I'm implying that. She's boring as hell, and obviously he needs to effing figure out what he's going to do with his life. My advice is he runs far, far away from the cold-hearted dull one!

Dear Ted:
If you were stuck with one person on a deserted island, who would you choose and why: Lindsay Lohan, Jennifer Garner or Angelina Jolie. Same scenario with the men: Gerard Butler, Jeremy Piven or John Mayer.
—Whatsnew 

Dear Stuck With Hell:
Jolie. At least she'd keep it interesting. I'd say maybe Butler for his hot abs...What's up with the selection? You picked some lame-ass people. Guess that was the point.

Dear Ted:
You converted me from not liking Kristen Stewart to actually quite liking her. Will the Twilight cast ever come to South Africa to promote Twilight? That would be really cool. One last question, any dirt on Josh Groban?
—S.A. Awful Truth fan

Dear Random Target:
Good question, we'll push for S.A. for ya babe! And as for Groban, he's just some unexciting classical singer...has a great voice though...and that's about it.  

Dear Ted:
I've been noticing that there are a couple of shows (Heroes, Supernatural and The Vampire Diaries) that feature a pair of brothers that seem, well...close. A little too close, if you ask me. Is it just me or are other people seeing this too? It's like they're aiming for brotherly love and then every now and then it just comes out as some kind of weird sexual tension. I'm positive it's not being deliberately added into the show, so my theory is that it's either really bad acting, writing or direction, or it's real-life chemistry between the cast shining through. What are your thoughts? Am I totally crazy?
—Radha 

Dear Sex on Sex:
There's always sexual tension on sets between stars. Always. They're probably doing other things off set, too, let's not kid ourselves! And chill, E! lawyers, we're not saying it's with their brotherly companions.

Dear Ted:
I can't get over how much time you put into educating people about adopting animals from rescue shelters. They need our love the most, and they give it back more than we know. I'm an Awful Truth junkie. I just can't get through the day without getting a fix every few hours. My question pertains to Charlie Hunnam of Sons of Anarchy and formerly of Undeclared; please tell me that smolderingly hot Brit is just as engaging as the character he portrays on the show. Lots of hugs to your dogs.
—Eris

Dear Hunnam Hottie:
Sure he is! If it's not his personality, he definitely has the body to make up for it.