Matt Cardy/Getty ImagesDoes Russell Brand have eyes for someone other than Hef's ex Holly Madison? The bad-boy Brit appeared at the Barnes & Noble at L.A.'s Grove, promoting his memoir, My Booky Wook, to thunderous female applause.
"No one applauds when I'm writing it," sassed R.S. to the femme-filled crowd, including our sassy selves. "I'm sitting around, occasionally pausing to masturbate. Rather an unrewarding process." Why do it yourself when any number of willing gals would gladly do it for ya?
Congrats for being up for an award at the BAFTA Comedy Fest.
Am I? What am I up for?
Best Comedy Performer—it's at the Four Seasons, and they're honoring Tracey Ullman.
They need to redo their rooms. They're too pastel.
As a recovering sex addict, you're pretty much a pro at the naughty stuff we so love. So who should Susan Boyle lose her virginity to? You?
No, I don't think I should be the one to do that. Susan Boyle deserves a nice strapping farmer from the north. Although I was quite charmed by her song from Les Miserables.
Jeez.
Russ is turning down offers left and right, strange behavior for dude who once coveted copulation like crazy. Does anyone actually fully recover from sex addiction? David Duchovny, care to share? We bet Téa could!
Russell and a fan then took over for us on the questioning and answering:
Russell: Have you got anything in particular you'd like me to read?
Fan: [Yells] The part where you went down on a girl!
Russell: That's not in the book! What the f--k? What is wrong with you? I can't talk about where I behave badly. Let's find a bit that's upbeat!
Fan: How about when you check into the sex addicts clinic?
Russell: Yeah, page one! Is that the only thing you f--king read?
For sure, Candy Spelling's drab book signing, also at the Grove, could have used some of this material.
—Additional reporting by Becky Bain and Susan Michals