Dear Ted:
Judas Jack-Off is so last week. I want the goods on Dashed Dingle-Dream. In light of Judas' recent behavior, any chance 3D is looking for a new love? And is 3D a hottie?
—Kijana
Dear Dream On:
Triple D has to be a looker in order to be worthy of even being hidden arm candy for Judas.
Dear Ted:
I have to admit I couldn't understand your columns with all the Ted-isms you'd insert. It made it so hard to read! I just found you "live" on those little video snippets, and I like you much more now that I can understand you! And I'm an American! Anyway, just wanted to let you know, I like you now!
—Sheryl
Dear Likes to Watch:
Thanks much, welcome to crazy A.T.-ville, babe!
Dear Ted:
Ted, please post the f--king photo! You've got a bunch of supposedly mature professionals calling food stores to ask if they sell beer and tabloids? Your column is destroying my career, I can't look away. No wonder K. Stew is terrified of the crazy fans, it's all of us, even the grown-ups!
—Wendy
Dear Photographic Mind:
There are rarely photos that surface of them out together, what makes you think that'll change now? Besides, it happened.
Dear Ted:
To follow up on the question Kroszelle posted on the April 2 Bitch-Back: Toothy Tile will be outed around the time he is no longer bankable, much the same way Winona Ryder was with her shoplifting habit?
—Xasinz
Dear Odd Analogy:
Toothy doesn't think he's going anywhere, anytime soon. Especially with that beard that keeps him so relevant.
Dear Ted:
Love ya, but you really whimped out on your reply to whether Mel Gibson has ever been a Blind Vice. Your no-answer answer makes it sound like you're afraid of his lawyers, which is uncharacteristic of you.
—Margery W, Waterbury, Conn.
Dear One Way:
Or maybe it's the truth. Imagine that.
Dear Ted:
Hello! I'm not a Britney fan and never have been, but I saw some of her pics around the net and you can see how washed out her eyes are...not the same icon everyone got to know. Sad, sad, sad. How long do you give it until she's full frontal and not just slip it subtle in her concerts?
—Curious
Dear Boo Hoo Brit:
Lindsay will go first.
Dear Ted:
You know what you've done to me Ted? You've made me actually not enjoy the weekends as of now. I look forward to any "info" you can pass along about Robsten. I'm just waiting for the bomb to drop and have it all be a bunch of BS. Have her boyfriend show up or something. Or have R and K finally revealed they are a couple. Of course, I'm probably wishful thinking here but I still love you!
—Robsten fan
Dear The Anti-Robki:
The clock's a-tickin' for these two, but I doubt they're in any rush to come out. Just as long as they can be together, they're happy, right Robsten? Oh, wait, I think I hear Robki wanting to answer first, how unusual!
Dear Ted:
Are Nikki Reed and Jackson Rathbone dating?
—Pixiechick
Dear Twi Fan:
Pity Jackson if they are.
Dear Ted:
I'm just confused by the questions still surrounding Gerard Butler's sexuality that pop up occasionally on other gossip sites. I've personally seen him seriously ogling the girls and not the boys out at the clubs, so why the continued questions about him being gay? Just curious because, usually, where there's smoke, there's fire, so is he bi, maybe? Either way, I still think he's a hottie, although he's looking like he might need some serious vacation time to get rid of those bags under his eyes.
—Anonymous
Dear Which But:
Gerard loves the ladies, for sure—he's just not that good at keeping them.
Dear Ted:
Any truth to the rumor that Simon Cowell is the son of Sharon Stone?
—Cpeters
Dear Baby Shar:
Come again? Did you mean the other way around, perhaps?
Dear Ted:
So whenever Kristen and Rob do decide to come out as a couple are you going to write a whole column saying "I told you so?" Because I sure hope you're right.
—Misti
Dear Low Gloat:
I just want Robsten to be happy, that's all.
Dear Ted:
In the Redmond O'Neal story, why was race brought into it? Any nonceleb caught violating his parole with heroin in his possession would be thrown in jail. Why bring an African-American scenario into a drug related story. Sounds racist.
—L
Dear Double Jeopardy:
Because we're talking about the Los Angeles court system here. It's all about white celebs getting preferential treatment, sweetheart.
Dear Ted:
How would you say Judas Jack-Off compares to an actor like Michael C. Hall?
—Sadie, Vancouver
Dear Dex-Off:
He seems a bit shrimpier than MCH. But I think they have some things in common. Like costars.
Dear Ted:
Judas Jack-Off is Robert Buckley, has to be—he's just way to gorge. And is DDD in the music biz? Thanks, love your column!
—Laura
Dear Jacking Judas:
Buckley is a no show in our Blind Vice's, as of now. And Dashed is a bit less camera-happy than our boy JJO—another source of tension.
Dear Ted:
I see a lot of users that are possibly Robert Pattinson on Twitter, and as much as I enjoy spending my time reading what they're doing, I was wondering, who the hell is the real one?
—Just Me
Dear Not Sure Either:
I don't really see Rob being the Twitter type. He likes to be private, and that's why we heart him.
Dear Ted:
I've been thinking long and hard on this: Nevis Divine is Hugh Jackman right?
—Mcbader
Dear Not Exactly:
Nevis runs in the younger crowd.
Dear Ted:
If Michael Angarano is so paranoid about Kristen and Rob, then why is he not up in Vancouver glued to her right now?
—Sandra
Dear Because:
If it's broke and moved on, why fix it?
Dear Ted:
Are you going to be pushing the Twyla Babe Sucker B.V. for the next two or three years, or are we going to find some real answers soon? I mean, the Toothy thing has been going on for, what, six years? We are talking about Twilight now after all.
—Kris
Dear Ask Them:
That's entirely up to Twyla and her beau. They will for sure come out long before Toothy ever does, so relax.