Blind Vice: Time for a New Moon Relationship

Fri., Mar. 27, 2009 7:02 AM PDT by Ted Casablanca

That's right, hons, it's a Twilight-style Blind Vice just for the those special cast and crewmembers who read them religiously! See, we've just discovered that our naughty Vices are a particularly favorite pastime on those foggy Twilight sets, which is just too ironic—as this one's all about a brokenhearted Twilight honey!

So get ready, you Twi twits. This week the Vice stuff is all about one castmember who's found herself in a romantically dangerous spot. Is there really ever any other kind?

Twyla Babe-Sucker is a gorge young gal who has suddenly stumbled upon all this damn fame. She's dizzy from it. Who friggin' wouldn't be? But it's so tough for this thick-haired beauty to handle herself, the spotlight and a man. Especially when temptation is lurking literally right around the corner:

TBS has had quite the rocky relationship with another dude, who's not a member of the megafranchise. It's been very hot-cold, even though the Cupid troubles have completely flown under the press's radar (save for mine). And this guy is pretty recognizable, too.

Either way, it's caused our poor babe angst 'cause so many games are being played with her head. Since the relaysh status has constantly been up in the air, it's hard to tell if either of them can really move on—especially when she's getting her makeup done, or what have you, and there's a very, very hunky, scruffy and studly guy who keeps giving her mixed signals, constantly coming up and hugging her. So intensely, too.

And you know that kind of body language I'm talkin' about, don't you? Classically angsty, Twilight-style lovemaking—hold me supertight (for hours), but that's it, stop there, nothing more...for now.

Truly Mormon kinda masochistic fooling around. In other words: Let's just torture ourselves for now and not give in to what we really want to do, which is to totally bone each other until Twilight isn't hauling in any more money!

So what's a girl to do? I say it's time to split from the current on-again, off-again guy and find yourself the real deal, babe. Like, maybe the affectionate hottie who's filming right next to you?

And it Ain't: Dakota Fanning, Noot Seear, Nikki Reed

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