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• Mary-Kate Olsen finally pushes the scales past 100 lbs., which must mean she and BF Nate Lowman are expecting.

• Tina Fey speaks for the first time about her scar-y experience at age 5.

• Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich loves to hang out in bathroom stalls with his pals. Don't we all?

• Olympic swim king Michael Phelps brought his new princess home for Thanksgiving. Mom must be pumped...Caroline "Caz" Pal is a Las Vegas "cocktail waitress," which may be code for stripper.

• Kate Bosworth puts dogs before dudes, pooch before smooch.

• Thank-You Note: Dear Gemini Awards, thanks for bringing multiple generations together in time for the holidays. Jason Priestley + Shenae Grimes = warm & fuzzy. Love, Rise 'n' Shine

Ok!

• Someone at OK! spelled Ashlee Simpson's name wrong on the cover. A rep for the mag says, "It is highly embarrassing and, sadly, someone will probably be fired."

• Law & Order has their Heath Ledger episode ready to go.

• Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown have been looking "very romantic while dining together" and their daughter wants them to remarry. Hopefully they will share their love with Bravo once again.

• Audrina is ready for her own reality show with her "real, true friends." Lauren is silently fuming with Lo at her side in some Hollywood club right now.

• Natalie Portman doesn't get what celibacy is all about.

• Britney's next video for "Circus" will premiere Dec. 5 on Entertainment Tonight, but here's a short preview, because all music videos have previews now even though it seems totally unnecessary.

Paul Fenton/ZUMAPress.com

• Beyoncé tells Ellen DeGeneres on this afternoon's show that she was "traumatized" watching her sister Solange give birth, but she's still up for a couple kids...eventually. Also, she performs "Single Ladies" yet again, and there is no such thing as too much "Single Ladies." We'll put a ring on it.

• Tom Cruise gets our Suri obsession: “I have to say some of those paparazzi shots of my daughter are incredible.”

• What's A-Rod doing for Thanksgiving? "My 6-foot-3, 220-pound soul-less, soon-to-be ex-husband is abandoning his kids on Thanksgiving to be with Madonna...She called and he ran on her command back to New York City. Gross!" Well, that angry ex-wife e-mail answers that.

• Now that Twilight is a forreal hit, Rob Pattz and Kristen Stewart are going to be making bank when sequel time comes around.

• How can Joey Fatone talk crap about recent DWTS contestants when he's doing this?

Theo Wargo/Getty Images

• Madonna laments, "I'm sad about my personal life." Fortunately, she has her Sweet & Sticky tour: "[It] provides a distraction that keeps me going."

• No Doubt will start touring again in summer 2009, so get ready for that.

• Kim from Real Housewives of Atlanta says she’s going to pose for Playboy and is also a member of J.Love’s size 2 club.

• Kanye West explains why he blogs in all caps in all caps: “I USE ALL CAPS CAUSE I'M LAZY NOT MAD. I TYPE WITH ONE HAND AND HOLD THE PHONE WITH THE OTHER.”

• It's the battle of completely ridiculous and blingy accessories between Rihanna's rhinestone eyepatch and Beyoncé's crazytown tinsel glasses.

• Gordon Ramsay has allegedly been in a seven-year affair with a professional mistress. British tabs are now monitoring the facial expressions of Gordon and his wife for any visible strain. So far, so good.

Chris Jackson/Getty Images for Atlantis, The Palm

• Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are reportedly trying out couples counseling because they're "fighting like cats and dogs." A chatty little source tells Page Six, “Drama just seems to follow Lindsay, and Sam hates it."

• Michael Jackson has reportedly converted to Islam and now prefers to be called Mikaeel.

• This year, Oprah will have a special bad economy edition of her annual "Favorite Things" show.

• Superskinny Nicole Kidman is not pregnant again, she just has a "little tummy." She explains, "I think I've always had a little tummy, though, it runs in the family. My sister does, my mum does, my grandmother did...We affectionately refer to it as the 'little tummy.’” Aw, that's kinda cute.

• Kanye showed up to his German concert two hours late and then ran around screaming, “I really need some p--sy tonight!” because he's classy like that.

• The Brad Pitt superfan above gives an example of what not to do when Oprah Skypes you in.

• Jon Voight's totally asking for the same thing for Christmas as we are—a special viewing of the Brangelina twins.

• If you want to see Rihanna swing around in the dark with an ugly Gucci bag while making meaningful faces to some smooth jam, it's right here.

• Mischa Barton sort of has a job now—blogging on her own website.

• It's GOOP Thursday! This week Gwynnie hooks us up with some sweet Thanksgiving recipes, reminding us there's only one thing to be thankful for next Thursday: Gwyneth Paltrow (and Suri Cruise!).

• Adrien Brody doesn't do fun.

People

• Hugh Jackman is the Sexiest Man Alive because he is "all scruff and biceps" and has what his wife calls "the Body of Doom." Do you agree?

• Is Gwynnie thinking of getting a divorce because Madonna got one and best friends do everything together? She hasn't been spending too much time with hubby Chris Martin and hung out with a billionaire bachelor while in Miami.

• Anne Hathaway's new boyfriend might not be so good after all, because he reportedly "went after all the heiresses" in college.

• Pam Anderson has some advice for Obama, including some recommended reading and a plea to legalize marijuana.

• Reese Witherspoon would like a chicken coop for Christmas, in case anyone wants to hook her up.

• Everything else is same old, same old—LiLo and SamRo are fighting and Jessica Simpson hearts Tony Romo.

Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images

• Miley Cyrus really is alive after the Internet has now tried to kill her twice, and it looks like her Bolt costar John Travolta got his wig back. Everything is right in the world again.

• Ashlee Simpson is so ready to do some birthing, already. She gave her baby a fair chance to come out all on its own, but now she just might go ahead and induce labor.

• Another date night for Jen Aniston and John Mayer at the Sunset Tower Hotel. The two were said to be "positively glowing," probably because they totally beat the uncool Brangelina in press last week.

• Kiefer Sutherland says jail sucked—they wouldn't even let him smoke.

• Leonardo DiCaprio finally realized all his preaching was kind of patronizing.

• Paris cuddled, whispered and held hands with her ex Stavros Niarchos over the past weekend in Miami. Be prepared for an "I love Benji so much" statement or a joint shopping trip any day now.

INFphoto.com

• Courtney Love went on a blogging rampage yesterday because she was so upset at her housekeeper, Miriam Torres, for allegedly stealing millions in designer fashion. After 60 blog posts, several "suicidal" to "kookoocherryo" moodswings and a Twilight shout-out, we're left with a bunch of style.com links.

• Scarlett Johansson is totally baffled over why Lindsay Lohan wrote “Scarlett is a c--t” in a bathroom 2½ years ago. We're totally baffled why we’re still talking about this. Related: Here's Lindsay getting floured.

• Helen Mirren went and stuck her foot in her mouth again—she really needs to stop talking about rape.

• Kelly Osbourne is reportedly engaged to her 18-year-old model boyfriend...or she's pulling the ol' Lohan wedding ring fake out. Speaking of which, Kate Hudson might also be pulling a Lohan.

• Diddy, there are some things you should probably keep to yourself.

Anthony, PacificCoastNews.com

• See, Miley Cyrus isn't always so bad, guys. Staging High School Musical in Wal-Mart with her sister Brandi and maybe boyfriend Justin Gaston actually looks kinda fun.

• Kanye West actually realized something he said was wack. It wasn't that he's the voice of his generation or that his critics should "eat s--t and die." Nope, he's actually sorry for fronting on Jared Leto.

• Beyoncé sounds way too normal in Seventeen, talking about how marriage before 25 is too young because you don't know yourself and that sometimes she has YouTube days where she watches all her performances in order to improve her act. Where's Sasha "Robot Claw" Fierce?

• Get ready, it has officially been decreed by Us that "the Obamas are like the new Brangelina" minus all the Jen Aniston dramz.

• And we need a new Brangelina—we can only listen to Angelina talk about the "love in Brad's eyes" so much.

• LiLo and SamRo aren't getting along and Madonna and Gwynnie are in a rough patch, but at least Rachel Zoe and Nicole Richie are working it out. Maybe there can be peace on earth?

ABC/ADAM LARKEY

• Taylor Swift will not stop with the Joe Jonas oversharing until he is destroyed. Last night at the CMAs, she told reporters all about him leaving her for Camilla Belle. Oh, and here's her song about him.

• Madonna is going around trying to make her friends vomit with this line about A-Rod: "He has the heart of a poet trapped inside an insanely gorgeous body."

• Of course Mariah Carey has a North Pole room in her Aspen cabin and prances around in a "red bikini with a Santa hat" for the holidays.

• Kanye West believes his mom died because of their move to L.A. "If we were still in Chicago she wouldn't have had that done. I've been going through anguish thinking about it," he says. The "that" being plastic surgery.

• LiLo and SamRo's paradise was threatened last night when Calum Best, a male ex-lover of Lindsay's, tried to crash Sam's DJ gig.

Jon Kopaloff/Getty Images, AP Photo/Evan Agostini

• It only took Joe Jonas 27 seconds to break it off with Taylor Swift and another few seconds to hook it up with the star of JoBro band's "Lovebug" music video, Camilla Belle. He likes her because she's "a really good girl" and kinda looks like a female version of himself.

• Jen Aniston says we've had her wrong all along. She swears she's not lonely and unlucky in love—in fact, she insists she's "been unbelievably lucky in love." But we were right about the whole biological clock ticking thing.

• Remember on Monday how we alluded to the Cheetah Girl nude picture scandal but weren't that into it because that kind of stuff is so overplayed? Well, turns out the whole thing was faked for attention. Imagine that.

• Ryan Reynolds may have three nipples—or he may just like joking about having three nipples.

• Is there such a thing as too much Madonna? Um, maybe, but that decision isn't up to us. The Queen of Pop will be featured in Louis Vuitton's spring ads.