Chris Weeks/ Getty Images; City of Orange Police Department

It's a plea so nice, he's entered it twice. And by nice, we mean naively optimistic.

For the second time since his bust last fall, Ryan Seacrest's scarily obsessive fan, Chidi Benjamin Uzomah Jr., has pleaded not guilty to one count of felony stalking and two misdemeanor counts of violating a court order to steer clear of the E! News host.

Uzomah proclaimed his innocence in court this morning for the first time since a judge ordered him to officially stand trial on the charges last month. (His case was moved to a different court, hence the need for the arraignment rerun.)

As before, if convicted on the three counts, which all stem from his knife-abetted attempt to bum rush the E! News studios last year, Uzomah faces up to four years in state prison.

A pretrial hearing has been set for March 9.

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Check out who else has been busted in our Mug-Shot Mania gallery.

AP Photo/David Zalubowski

If Richard Heene was hoping his backtracking bombshell proclamation of innocence would spare him some jail time, he's even more delusional than we thought.

Echoing comments made by the Larimer County Sheriff, a spokeswoman for the Colorado region's district attorney said that Balloon Dad's last-minute backtrack will not change his 90-day sentence.

"He's already entered his pleas," Linda Jensen told E! News. "The judge went over his advisement and addressed that issue. As far as we are concerned, the case is done. He said to the judge that he wasn't coerced and they went over that in great lengths during the sentencing."

Still, Heene's sudden resurgence into the spotlight may end up causing more harm than good, at least as far as his punishment is concerned.

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Donna Svennevik/ ABC; Joe Coomber/Sipa via AP Images

The Pennsylvania courts are about to give Jon and Kate Gosselin the greatest gift of all: singlehood.

Despite claims made just yesterday by Jon's lawyer that the soonest we'd see a Gosselin divorce was after the New Year, Kate's attorney confirms to E! News that Christmas is coming early for the estranged reality duo, with a judge expected to sign off on their split within 24 hours.

"We're expecting it either today or tomorrow," says attorney Mark Momjian. "We had a proceeding this morning and Mr. Gosselin was present without his lawyer. The law clerk said the decree would be entered today or tomorrow and literally, I'm waiting for it. It could be any minute."

Who said there's no such thing as a Christmas miracle?

And what about yesterday's claims by Jon's attorney, Mark Heller?

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Kevin Mazur/AMA 2009/Getty Images; Barry King/Getty Images

UPDATE: A judge put Lopez's lawsuit on hold pending a hearing Jan. 29 to determine whether the case should be sent to arbitration.

The court order stipulating that Noa may not sell or in any way disseminate the home movies he has featuring J.Lo is still in effect.
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Bad news for the pervs of the world, good news for what's left of Jennifer Lopez's modesty: A judge has officially blocked ex-hubby Ojani Noa from releasing the private home videos he took of Lopez during their honeymoon.

Sharpie-loving Judge James Chalfant today granted a temporary injunction against Noa and his agent, Ed Meyer, barring them from distributing the rumored nudity-containing footage in any forum.

"They may not publish it for any reason," Chalfant said. "Anywhere, anytime, anyhow…without further court order. If they do, they go to jail."

Because the injunction is, for the time being, temporary, Lopez's lawyer, Jay Lavely, is expected to return to court to make it permanent. He told E! News he will be doing so immediately, but not before making clear that, keen to block the tape as they were, there is nothing untoward about the footage.

In fact, Lavely stressed that "there wasn't anything even close" to a sex tape in Noa's possession. As for what dirt he did have on Lopez...

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Kevin Mazur/AMA 2009/Getty Images; Barry King/Getty Images

Now it's Ojani Noa's turn to get spanked. Figuratively speaking.

Jennifer Lopez's first ex-husband, he of the maybe-maybe not J.Lo-starring sex tape, has been barred from releasing any more "confidential information" about his former missus, thanks to a protective order Lopez was granted yesterday.

The majority of which, incidentally, was heavily amended in black marker—a detail that Noa's team failed to find the charm in.

"We are still trying to fully decipher Judge [James] Chalfant's exact order, which was written in Sharpie pen," Noa's agent, Ed Meyer, told E! News. Meyer was also barred from blabbing in the order.

"I guess due to the California budget cuts, as I have no other clue why a Superior Court judge would write and sign a court order with a Sharpie pen."

Jeez, everyone's a critic.

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UPDATE 2: E! News has obtained audio of two 911 calls made by what sounds like two different people on the bus that crashed. In the first, the caller tells the dispatcher that the driver is "losing color," while the second caller says that he has gone into cardiac arrest.

UPDATE 1: The Cyrus family has issued a statement responding to this morning's tragedy on Miley's official site:

"We are deeply saddened by the loss of Bill 'Uncle Bill' Douglas. Members of our tour are like members of our family. Our thoughts and prayers go out to his family in the midst of this tragedy. He will truly be missed."
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One person is dead and at least one more suffered minor injuries after one of Miley Cyrus' tour buses crashed and flipped onto its side in Virginia this morning.

Cyrus herself was not on board the bus at the time; the Disney has primarily been jetting to tour dates on a private plane for much of this tour.

"She was not on any of the buses and not on scene at any point," Virginia State Police Sgt. Thomas Molner told E! News. "She was on a different route."

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ABC/Adam Larkey

First Hélio Castroneves, now Aaron Carter. Dancing With the Stars has a curse, all right, but it has nothing to do with injuries.

Unless you count the damage done to one's bank account. And permanent record.

Just a week getting booted from the reality-competition show, Carter is on the receiving end of considerably worse news, this time courtesy of the IRS. Turns out, Nick's little bro owes Uncle Sam more than $1 million in back taxes.

Just think of all the Kleenex that could buy.

As it is, according to court documents filed last week, Carter's tax delinquency dates back to 2003, a clearly banner time for the cry baby pop star, as he's indebted to the federal government a whopping $965,284.97 from that year alone.

An additional $45,350.11 is also owed from income earned in 2006, making his debt grand total a hefty $1,010,635.08.

We don't care who you are, that figure's gonna bring on the waterworks.

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Aaron's out of Dancing With the Stars, but these four are still in...at least for the next few hours.

AP Photo/Nick Ut

Lindsay Lohan has one more chance—and one more year—to get herself in order.

After being ominously summoned (and, in true Lindsay style, arriving more than an hour late after a night of clubbing) to her progress hearing this morning, the judge agreed to extend the star's probation by 12 months to allow her adequite adequate time to complete her court-ordered alcohol education program, one of the remaining outstanding holdouts from her 2007 DUI bust.

But not without first issuing a few scared-straight-style warnings.

While Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Marsha Revel said in court that she was "rooting" for Lohan to successfully complete her probation, she made clear that any future slip-ups would be tolerated.

"I'm going to know about it," said Revel, "because your whole life is followed."

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Henry County Police Department

He's a runner, not a fighter.

Unfortunately, it was Soulja Boy's fleet-footedness that resulted in his arrest Wednesday night.

The "Crank That" rapper was busted on a charge of obstruction and spent the night in jail after fleeing from an abandoned home—at which some 40 of his closest, rabble-rousing friends had also gathered—when Atlanta cops showed up, responding to concerned calls.

"Somebody had seen a large group of juveniles hanging out at this house that they knew to be abandoned," Henry County Police Capt. Jason Bolton told E! News. "[The responding officer] found about 40 people located behind this abandoned home. Half of the group ran from the officer, despite orders to stop."

Guess who was among those hightailing it off the premises?

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UPDATE #2: On Nov. 24, 2009, Shirley Dieu and Crystal Matchett refiled amendments to their lawsuits against the TV doctor, specifying what they were receiving treatment for in their controversial therapy sessions: Dieu for "problems with men," and Matchett for "anger issues."

"Dr. Phil's comment was, 'We're never alone in the Phil house,' and yeah, that's right, that's why we won't have a problem here proving [the suit]," Dieu told E! News. "We have a picture of him touching my breasts. The pictures show what a perv he is."

The alleged grope took place when Dr. Phil told her, "You think too much with your head, you need to think with your heart." It was then, Dieu claims, the good doctor got handsy. And she got sick.

"I have Crohn's Disease and stress is what brings it out of remission and it came out of remission so bad after this that I ended up in the hospital."

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UPDATE: McGraw's rep has just released the following statement to E! News: "All of Shirley Rae Dieu’s claims are without merit...Dr. Phil is never alone in the House with any of these guests and all of his interactions are captured on video- and/or audiotape.

"Ms. Dieu filed a claim with the Los Angeles Police Department some nine months after the incident, which was investigated and ultimately not pursued by the Los Angeles city attorney. All guests of the show are treated with dignity and respect and the show stands by the manner in which she was handled while participating on the show."
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AP Photo/Mark J. Terrill, Pool

The girl is his? Not so fast.

Despite being quoted in the ever-reliable News of the World seemingly professing to be the biological father of Michael Jackson's daughter, Paris, former child star Mark Lester isn't trying to cash in his ticket for the paternity lotto just yet.

"I'm sure, as far as I know, [the children] were all his," Lester, who starred as the titular Oliver! in the Oscar-winning musical, told E! News.

"I expected lots of different things to come out, but this is extraordinary."

Even more extraordinary? What Lester actually did, uh, deposit as fact to the British tabloid.

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Summit Entertainment

UPDATE: Allegedly wronged author Jordan Scott has made good on her threats, filing suit in federal court on Aug. 19. She's asking for damages and that the court recall all copies of Breaking Dawn currently on the market.

Good luck with that. We assume they'll get them when they pry them from Twi-hards' cold, undead hands.

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First, there was the casting switcheroo heard around the world. Then, there was the tragic news that the cast of New Moon would not be taking it all off onscreen (foiled again).

Now, for the second time this year, Stephenie Meyer has been accused of plagiarizing one of her best-selling tomes.

Is the Twilight franchise unraveling at the seams?

Nah. But it is bringing plenty of people out of the woodwork.

Self-described writer-singer Jordan Scott has sent a cease-and-desist letter to the Twilight mastermind, accusing Meyer of blatantly ripping off Scott's vampire love trilogy, The Nocturne—parts of which she posted online back in 2003 and which therefore, she claims, were readily available for Meyer to swindle.

To which we say, she wishes.

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