Consider: Keith Richards is a "monkey with arthritis." --E. John. Elton John is best known for "writing songs for dead blondes." --K. Richards.
Ouch!
What has gotten into these boys--well, other than a fearsome bout of middle-aged crabbiness? These guys are countrymen--British subjects, both. They're peers. They're fellow rehab alums. They're superstar survivors. Bottom line: Why the bile?
Can't say, actually. For the sake of the moms in our reading audience, may we note that Keith Richards started it first.
In an interview last month in Toronto, the grizzled Rolling Stone said he didn't like Elton's flamboyant, Vegas-like stage antics. (Yeah, if there's anything that bugs the Stones, it's stage antics. Excuse us for being incredulous, but has Keith Richards been paying attention to his fellow Glimmer Twin at any point during the last 30 years? Mick Jagger is as subtle as Liberace...was.)
To be fair, John's stage presence isn't the only thing that bugs Richards. It's also his music; hence, the crack about John "writing songs for dead blondes."
That not-too-veiled dig at John's best-selling "Candle in the Wind" (first penned in 1973 as a tribute to Marilyn Monroe, and reworked recently for Princess Diana's funeral) did not sit well with its author, who, in remarks to foreign journalists last week in Atlanta, took the opportunity to roll the Stone.
"I just think he's an [seven-letter expletive referring to the rectal cavity], and I have for a long time," John said, according to New York's Daily News.
In a chatty mood, John went on to declare that the Stones should have dropped Richards like a bad habit "10, 15 years ago...because he's held them back." (Yeah, who knows? Mick and the mates might have actually made something of themselves.)
Then came the "monkey with arthritis" dig: "[Richards is] so pathetic, poor thing. It's like a monkey with arthritis, trying to go onstage and look young." This, from a 50-year-old man...with bangs.
Credit John, at least, for honesty. Asked by a reporter if he was trying to return Richards' fire, John chuckled: "Yes, I am!"
John's publicist initially denied the singer's bitchy tirade. But the Daily News says it has the goods on tape. No response yet from Richards camp. Maybe these guys are--finally--all talked out.