Jim Smeal/Getty ImagesWhat's more popular than a special about Michael Jackson? Why should Anderson Cooper tell another Jackson-related Studio 54 anecdote? Are the boys of Entourage kept men, and if so, who's keeping them?
The answers—and more questions—in this week's TV ratings quiz:
1. What, or who, could possibly be bigger than coverage of the Jackson memorial service? Collectively, nothing. Individually, however, per the latest Nielsen rankings, the week's single most watched prime-time news hour, courtesy CBS' 60 Minutes, concerned Osama bin Laden, who didn't even sing at Staples Center. The biggest single prime-time Jackson special, courtesy ABC's Primetime: Family Secrets, concerned Jackson's children and Jackson's second ex-wife, Debbie Rowe.
2. Does Anderson Cooper have any more childhood stories about meeting the future King of Pop at the 1970s' signature nightclub? If he doesn't, he should make some up. Since Cooper shared the story of his chance M.J. meeting with CNN viewers on the night of Jackson's death, the news network has dominated cable's Jackson ratings. Last week, its most watched hour of memorial service coverage outdrew Fox News' by about 150 percent, 5.7 million viewers to 2.3 million.
3. Was cable about anything other than Michael Jackson last week? Yes, actually. The Closer (6.1 million) was the most watched show, followed by Royal Pains (5.7 million). Other top non-Jackson programs: Burn Notice (5.5 million), iCarly (5.2 million), In Plain Sight (3.9 million), Army Wives (3.8 million) and, from the Department of It Never, Ever Gets Old, the latest Disney Channel offering of Lindsay Lohan's The Parent Trap (4.3 million).
4. Are Vincent Chase and friends being kept, as it were, by Anna Paquin? Well, usually kept men are younger than their keepers, and Paquin is younger than the Entourage guys, so it's a tough call. But this we know: Per HBO, Paquin's blood-sucking True Blood hit a new series high in its Sunday return, with 3.9 million viewers. Airing after it, the brand-new Hung was way up over its premiere, with 3.6 million viewers, and, airing after that, the season-six premiere of Entourage scored its biggest audience in two years-plus: 3.4 million viewers.
5. What's in a name? A lot, apparently. On the day Sci Fi Channel changed its name—or, rather, its spelling—to Syfy, its new series, Warehouse 13, premiered to a cable-fat 3.5 million viewers.
6. Why are 18-year-olds so important to networks, à la the 18-49 demographic? Because according to a 15-year-old Morgan Stanley intern, underagers don't watch much TV. Oh, and they don't tweet, either.
7. What do old people watch? Last week, Twitterers aged 18-49 favored America's Got Talent and So You Think You Can Dance. The Wednesday edition of America's Got Talent was TV's overall No. 1 show, with 11.9 million viewers.
8. What show didn't anybody watch? The Mike Judge animated comedy The Goode Family, which subsisted on only 1.4 million viewers, bad for 114th place among all broadcast network shows.