ABC/KELSEY McNEALThe lazy days of one dance per star are over.
It was full speed ahead to the semifinals on Dancing With the Stars Monday as each contestant was tasked with learning two individual routines, one ballroom and one Latin, the latter of which contained a solo for each celeb to strut his or her stuff for at least 15 seconds without the supportive limbs of a pro partner.
If tonight's scores are any indication, tomorrow night's elimination should be a no-brainer, but...Yeah, probably a no-brainer.
But each of the remaining five contestants are so charming in his or her own way, it's about that time to start feeling sorry that anyone has to go.
To ward off that wistfulness, let's pick apart their dances (two at a time) instead...
Shawn Johnson: They broke hold a few too many times for our taste (guess who's starting to drink the same tea as Len Goodman?), but Shawn is a pristine ballroom dancer and the quickstep showed off her athleticism, grace and, once again, her ability to be molded into whatever marionette Mark Ballas needs her to be. But sure enough, Len called 'em out on the hold thing (which Mark took responsibility for), as did the other judges, although all thought it an easy, breezy, beautiful performance otherwise. "You danced like Sporty Spice!" raved Bruno Tonioli.
Score: 27
• It was hard to get the image of floor-exercise backbends out of our heads while watching Shawn stomp and pose during the paso doble, but her brand of strength was tailored for such a dance. When she got going, there was really no chance of Mark—or any toreador, for that matter—taking her down. "Girlfriend, you delivered the drama!" raved Carrie Ann Inaba, while Bruno said the 17-year-old had uncovered her "killer instinct." Len was wowed technically but not so much emotionally—but he, along with his fellow judges, all received grateful hugs and air kisses from the superpsyched teen.
Score: 29. Surprisingly, her best yet.
Ty Murray: On first glance, Ty looks to be grimacing rather than smoldering, as the male partner must do in the Argentine tango. But boy, howdy! If Jewel's hard-working hubby isn't making the most of his assets—strength, determination and better rhythm than you might expect—then we'll be ding-donged. "Not as smooth as I would have liked," Bruno said, but Len felt Ty and Chelsie Hightower "captured the flavor and essence of the dance" to a tee. For me, you produced your best dahnce," he said.
Score: 25
• Nothing could be less natural than Ty wagging his hips for the rumba, but darn if he isn't just the most affable partner, always there for Chelsie just when you think she might hit the ground instead. His solo won't earn him a job at Chippendales any time soon...but we can safely say we've never enjoyed watching one of the lesser dancers as much as we like watching Ty. But as Bruno said, "You can't confuse likability with ability."
Score: 21. "The score wasn't great, but I'm hoping my solo pays dividends later," Ty joked backstage about hip-swiveling in his wife's direction.
Lil' Kim: Derek Hough sure has managed to polish off Kim's rough edges. Their Viennese waltz was not without flaws—there was a hitch in the wee rapper's git-along—but overall she turned in a proficient, albeit somewhat stumbly, performance. "You tried to be a lady, but you're more comfortable being a tramp," began Bruno, who spent the rest of his screen time extracting his deeply rooted foot from his mouth (we know he meant it Frank Sinatra-style, but...). Len was pretty tickled by Kim's waltzing ability, however, but Carrie Ann noted the few missteps, "almost like the floor was sticky tonight."
Score: 25.
• Len threatened to "rush off and pickle his walnuts" if Kim didn't fire up the floor with her salsa. Luckily, no mason jars will be required tonight. Though she was bouncing even before the music began, Kim's booty wasn't quite as bionic as we had hoped...until her solo. After which, she came back at full speed and finished off her salsa with a death-defying dip and some spot-on shimmy. "You're in your element," complimented Bruno, while Len told Kim that she and salsa "go together like spotted dick and custard." Dessert, anybody?
Score: 27
Gilles Marini: Well, there's a fox-trot you don't see every day. Pairing a red tie with his tango suit, Gilles and Cheryl Burke burned up the floor to the tune of "Fever" in a dance that was reminiscent of a ballroom number but really looked more like a mating ritual. But such is the Frenchman's charm. Len couldn't help but point out Gilles' lack of leg-straightening, but Bruno, raising a triumphant fist, called the performance "in a class of its own," and Carrie Ann said it was dances like that that are taking them "right into the semifinals."
Score: 29
• In case Ty Murray was wondering what a rumba's supposed to look like...we were all sexually healed watching Gilles' performance. Cheryl looks as if she's having fun again—and why wouldn't she? We knew Len was going to get on them (no pun intended) for that rollover on the floor, but apparently they were sacrificing a point to the rumba gods. Carrie Ann found his solo a tad "self-indulgent" and Bruno thought the entire number "a bit uneven by [Gilles'] usual standards but still very good."
Score: 27. Still very good by most standards.
Melissa Rycroft: Still hurting from a rib injury but wanting to prove her mettle, Melissa didn't miss a beat during her first dance of the night, the Viennese waltz. Her lines were exquisite, as usual, and you'd be hard-pressed to point out a timid moment as she dipped and lifted her legs with poise and grace. But the judges are still seeing a ballet dancer doing ballroom. "Romance, musicality, great extension of the arms," Len said, listing the high points before adding, "I'm still not a big fan of your feet."
Score: 27
• Good, we wanted to see more movement before the night was through. And Melissa's body is obviously one of her better assets, so—although it was a bit posed-looking in places—hers was a sizzling samba. Her solo seemed shorter than 15 seconds, though—just a shake-shake here and a bump-bump there. "I say, take the week off—flawless!" pronounced Carrie Ann. "The samba should make you happy to be alive. Your samba makes me happy to be here watching it," Bruno said. Aw.
Score: 30. Their first, not to mention the first from anyone in awhile. "I haven't seen that since season two!" an almost tearful Tony Dovolani exclaimed.
Them voters have a lot to think about tonight. But before Tuesday's elimination, the three remaining dancers in the pick-a-pro-for-next-season contest will partner up with stars from seasons past—Lisa Rinna, Maurice Greene and Cody Lindley—to test their celeb-teaching prowess.
Meanwhile, here's a rundown of tonight's leaderboard, combining both scores:
Melissa and Tony: 57
Gilles and Cheryl: 56
Shawn and Mark: 56
Lil' Kim and Derek: 52
Ty and Chelsie: 46
Per America's Line oddsmaker Benjamin Eckstein, Ty's pretty much a shoo-in to go home at 2 to 1. Down the pipeline is Lil' Kim, at 25 to 1. Judging by the last two weeks, Melissa's a terrible bet at (our favorite statistic) "never to 1."
(Originally published May 4, 2009, at 7:25 p.m. PT)