George Clooney: The Other White Meat(like Product)
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When it comes to PETA, George Clooney is sweating the small stuff. Which, really, was what started the problem in the first place.
After coming into possession of a gym towel soaked in the Oscar winner's sweat, the animal rights crusaders have penned a letter to the actor asking for permission to have PETA harvest his salty secretions to create—no joke—a Clooney-flavored line of tofu.
"The technology actually exists to take your perspiration and make it into George Clooney-flavored tofu (CloFu)," writes PETA. "Of course, your fans would swoon at the idea of eating CloFu."
The group even quotes a researcher, who says, "If you use a sample of human perspiration, it is 'no different than making artificial chicken flavor for instant gravy.' "
Except for the fact that, bean curd texture aside, it's proving to be a lot harder to swallow.
"As a mammal, I'm offended," says Clooney in response.
Not that PETA is easily deterred. The organization has already offered up serving suggestions for all your would-be CloFu needs.
"Cheese-scented CloFu could be used as pizza topping and in lasagna…CloFu will help people be healthier and more environmentally friendly and will spare animals from being killed for the table."
The letter, signed by PETA president Ingrid E. Newkirk, ends on an optimistic note.
"We hope this idea meets with your approval."
Something tells us they may not want to rush into production just yet.
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