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Backstage at DWTS: Mya "Disappointed," Donny "Numb" and Judges In Shock

Dancing With the Stars, DWTS, Kym Johnson, Donny Osmond ABC/ADAM LARKEY
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Attention astronauts: If you see a huge beam of light coming from somewhere near Donny Osmond's house in Utah, be not afraid.

"I'm probably putting it on top of my house with a spotlight on it for all the world to see," Donny told us tonight of his shiny new disco ball trophy.

We hung out backstage after tonight's live season finale of Dancing with the Stars, where Donny was crowned the winner and was downright giddy.

"I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy right now!" he sang out. "I'm on cloud nine!"

And he wasn't the only one beaming...

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Dancing With the Stars: A New Winner Raises the Disco Ball

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Wait, Kathy Ireland was on this show? What the heck is Tom DeLay doing here?!

Oh right, the Dancing With the Stars finale is when a whole season's worth of contestants come out of the woodwork and remind the viewers just how right they were in casting these folks aside long ago.

With that behind them, Donny Osmond, Kelly Osbourne and Mya gathered tonight for one last spin around the floor and awaited to hear who would be bringing the illustrious disco-ball trophy home for good.

Kelly danced the Viennese waltz more gracefully than ever; Mya brought new sharpness and confidence to her and Dmitry Chaplin's nerd-meets-seductress jive; and Donny performed his Argentine-tango ass off, somehow managing to look intense but not hammy.

But, as Len Goodman said earlier, "There can be only one."

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Party Patrol: Ashley Greene Vamps, Rihanna Parties

Ashley Greene, Maxim Magazine Nino Munoz; Maxim Magazine
More from H'Wood Party Girl

The first stop on tonight's soiree schedule is Maxim's bash for covergirl Ashley Greene at Avenue in New York City.

Avenue is same spot where I spotted Rob Pattinson and Kristin Stewart getting cozy last week, but we won't get a repeat performance tonight. Robsten has returned to L.A., so we'll have to make do without them. At least Chaske Spencer is in attendance, representing the New Moon wolfpack.

While Ashley doesn't arrive until an hour and a half past the start time, the guest of honor appears looking hot in a black cap sleeve dress and rocking some cleavage.

The Twilight Saga's Alice Cullen tells me about her transformation from vampire to vamp for the mag's cover....

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J.Lo's Ex: There's "Maybe One Spanking," but I'm Not Selling a Sex Tape

Jennifer Lopez, Ojani Noa Kevin Mazur/AMA 2009/Getty Images; Barry King/Getty Images

Ojani Noa says he's moved on since his brief marriage to Jennifer Lopez more than a decade ago.

Minus the 12-year-old home movies he's peddling and his desire to make a feature-length comedy that touches on their courtship, that is.

Noa, 35, has admitted to trying to sell footage of himself and Lopez from back in the day, but, he added, there is no graphic sexual activity on the video—and therefore no one should be making such a big deal about it.

"They think I have a sex tape with her and that I'm trying to sell it," Noa says in an exclusive interview with E! News. "My tape is from our honeymoon, the wedding, us hanging out. There's no nudity—maybe one spanking.

"There's moments of her fighting with her mom...couples having fun and kissing. If someone has a sex tape, it's not me."

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Can Michael Lohan Go to Jail for Phone Call Leaks?

Michael Lohan, mugshot Suffolk County Police
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How can Michael Lohan keep leaking taped phone calls and not to go jail?
—Brandee, via the Answer B!tch inbox

Oh, he could go to jail, all right.

Michael Lohan—who has the dubious honor of both media whore and child-star pimp—has reportedly leaked telephone conversations he had with daughter Lindsay Lohan, ex-wife Dina and frenemy Jon Gosselin. Dina has reacted by calling Michael out as the scum he is, as has Lindsay, who prefers the term "loser."

And she's even asked her lawyer to look into all legal options, including criminal ones that could possibly land Michael in the slammer.

Here are the details...

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See the First Three Minutes of House's Wilson-Centric Ep!

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More from Watch with Kristin

Fox's hit medical-mysteries series House is mixing it up next week, and you Wilson (Robert Sean Leonard) fans are going to love the twist!

Instead of Gregory House (Hugh Laurie) being the lead investigator on a health crisis, sidekick James "Jim" Wilson is the man at the center of the show, and Celebrity Jeopardy! standout/The West Wing star Josh Malina plays the patient whom Wilson must save.

As executive producer Katie Jacobs told us earlier this year, "We have this upcoming episode where House is to Wilson as Wilson is usually to House. Like he'll be in the middle of something and House will drop by, or he'll go see House in the middle of a differential diagnosis meeting, and we'll never even know what they were working on. I'm excited about it."

For an exclusive sneak peek video of Robert Sean Leonard's star turn, which airs Nov. 30 at 8 p.m. on Fox, press play above!

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Late News: Photographic Evidence That Zooey Deschanel Is Really Doing Bones!

Bones, Zooey Deschanel, Emily Deschanel Greg Gayne/FOX
More from Watch with Kristin

Bones: Approximately six million years after we all started begging her, Zooey Deschanel is finally guest starring on her big sister Emily Deschanel's show, Bones. Zooey plays Brennan's wacky cousin Margaret in "The Goop in the Girl," which airs Thursday, Dec. 10. Can't wait! (Check out our TV Stunt Casting gallery for another shot of Zooey D.'s long-awaited TV gig.)

• Coming Soon: Fox just released the premiere dates for its midseason shows. Possibly unbelievably bad reincarnation drama Past Life premieres on Feb. 11, wait-and-see actioner Human Target premieres Jan. 17 (it has Mark Valley and Chi McBride, but still...), and probably totally cute comedy Sons of Tucson premieres March 14. Any thoughts from the peanut gallery on this trifecta?

Lie To Me: Executive producer Lie To Me Shawn Ryan tweets, "#LieToMe picked up for a back 9! Thanks for all the support everyone!" Now, Q's for you LTM fans: (a) What do you love most about this show? and (b) What kind of scoop do you want on it, if any?

The Oprah Winfrey Show: The times they are a-changin'. A Harpo Productions rep tells HuffPo that Oprah's not going to do a holiday "Favorite Things" episode this year. Madness!

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Click through our gallery of Oprah's Most Memorable Moments.

Is Anna Getting Busy on V?

V, Morena Baccarin ABC/MICHAEL COURTNEY
More from Watch with Kristin

The Visitors are leaving for a while. (You know what they say about guests and fish stinking after three days.) Tonight is the last new episode of V's premiere pod of episodes, and it's a doozy. There are major reveals about the future (think circle-of-life type stuff), someone gets tortured to death, we learn more about the so-called "fifth column," we learn that the Vs are out to get us using a method that would make Bill Maher nod and go "Toldya!," and, oh yeah, Lisa (Laura Vandervoort) brings Tyler (Logan Huffman) home to meet her "mother." Eek!

What's to come after all of tonight's alien madness is said and done? We caught up with superfoxy alien babe Morena Baccarin for an exclusive chat, and she hinted that things (maybe even big romantic things) are heating up for Anna. Here's what we learned:

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Tuesday Time-Slot Hell: Glee Versus Lost

Glee Joe Viles/FOX
More from Watch with Kristin

OK, so apparently, all the TV networks simultaneously noticed Tuesday nights have been a bit of a dead zone in terms of hipster TV. Yes, CBS has lots of high-rated shows that night, and FX has had Sons of Anarchy, and ABC is trying its darnedest with V, but compared to the utter gridlock of Mondays and Thursdays, Tuesday TV has been blissfully low-stress when it comes to must-see shows.

No more. Fox just released its 2010 TV schedule and it has placed Glee's new episodes (which premiere April 13) on Tuesday at 9 p.m. Unfortunately, Tuesdays at 9 p.m. just so happen to be when ABC is putting the final season of Lost. Not to mention there are already plenty of Melrose Place, NCIS: L.A. and The Biggest Loser fans out of there, and their faves all already air at that time.

Brutal, man. Our house has four DVRs total, so we can probably survive this without picking up a third dual-tuner TiVo at Best Buy, but most people don't have such a gluttonous appetite for TV. Therefore: Choices must be made.

Take our poll below and then hit the comments with your thoughts.

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Melissa Etheridge to Adam Lambert: "Don't Believe Everything They Say"

Adam Lambert, Melissa Etheridge F Micelotta/American Idol 2009/Getty Images; Lester Cohen / Getty Images
More from Marc Malkin

Melissa Etheridge predicted something like this might happen.

She spoke as if she were reading a crystal ball when we chatted at the American Music Awards before Adam Lambert's controversial sex-charged performance.

We asked Ms. Etheridge what advice she'd give to the out and proud 27-year-old glam rock Idol star. Little did we know that her well-seasoned words were a foreshadowing of things to come later that night...

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Nicole Richie Back in Her Own Bed

Nicole Richie Jason LaVeris/Getty Images

Nicole Richie still isn't 100 percent, but at least she's out of the sick ward.

The starlet is still on bed rest as she recovers from pneumonia, but is out of the hospital. She checked herself into Cedars-Sinai Medical Center a week ago to better combat her illness.

"I'd like to thank you all for the kind words and well wishes over the past few weeks," Richie wrote on her Celebuzz blog. She also apologized for missing out on the Nov. 11 launch for her House of Harlow 1960 fashion line at Bebe, as well as the Holt-Renfrew Calgary opening.

"Right now it's important for me to stay in bed and recover," she continued. "Reading all of your messages on Twitter and my website has really brightened my spirits and I am so grateful for the support. I look forward to seeing you all very soon and wish you a happy Thanksgiving."

At least Richie's home for the holidays.

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Nicole Richie shows off her son Sparrow right here.

GMA Doesn't Want Adam Lambert's Sloppy Seconds...Cue The Early Show!

Apparently, waking up with Glambert is hard to do.

After receiving more than 1,500 complaints from viewers shocked—just shocked!—over Adam Lambert's sexually charged antics at Sunday's American Music Awards, the Alphabet net's a.m. flagship has pulled the plug on tomorrow's planned performance by the American Idol star.

"Given Adam Lambert's controversial live performance on the AMAs we were concerned about airing a similar concert so early in the morning," ABC said in a statement.

The move was to quiet those offended types who apparently let their children watch television unsupervised after 10 p.m.—like the folks in the Parents Television Council, who were among the first to sound off on Lambert's crotch-diving, male-on-male kissing performance.

But while ABC suddenly got a case of the family-friendlies, rival CBS had no qualms picking up the scraps. Just hours after GMA nixed Lambert, The Early Show announced he'd be stopping by their digs on Wednesday for a chat—among other things about his AMA antics,  of course.

And what did Mr. "For Your Entertainment" have to say about the morning-show switcheroo?

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The Big Picture

All Growed Up Guess Zac has officially adopted the smoldering look, 'cause we haven't seen a smile in weeks

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