Tireless Joel McHale spent hours suffering through bad TV to bring you another week of fabulous Soup. Now it's your turn.

• When Aaron Carter signed on for Dancing With the Stars, he didn't sign up for germs from a civilian.

• Blabbermouth Ray J tries to keep mum on a major secret for his new season. Not hard enough.

• Tyra reveals the horrors of the latest get-thin-quick scheme for women: the tapeworm diet. Do you measure up?

• Shayne Lamas is proud of her Latin heritage. And will get near-naked to prove it.

• Explore the erotic delights of shooting high-powered deadly weapons with military hedonist R. Lee Ermey.

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Plenty more erotic delights (well, delights, anyway) await you in the Soup blog video gallery.

Larry King might be long in the tooth, but the lovable ol' crank still has what it takes to get an ex-beauty queen mad at him. 

Which, in the case of Carrie Prejean, isn't saying much. 

Tune in tonight at 10 p.m. ET/PT for even more hilarious anger on a fresh batch of Soup.

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There's plenty more laughs where that came from in the Soup blog video gallery. Dig in now!

No one likes to see Gossip Girl's Chuck Bass come in second. Particularly Chuck Bass.

Not to be bested by Leighton Meester's sizzling music video for the song "Somebody to Love," the Bassman sounds off with his own sensual offering, "I'm Bored (You Ruined My Pants)."

With a little help from the Soup brain trust.

There's plenty more where this came from, tonight on a healthy chunk of fresh Soup at 10 p.m. ET/PT.

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And there's plenty more Gossip Girl goods to ogle below. Star clicking!

Hef's gaggle of Girls Next Door are in for a shock this Sunday when the AARP stud takes the blond troika abroad.

Meaning another broad! Seems the insatiable Playboy kingpin arranged a visit with Ukranian dish Dasha Astafieva, as three girlfriends just isn't enough.

The claws are out as the Shannon twins try (they really do!) to wrap their minds around the concept of sharing their BF with someone who (a) they're not related to and (b) isn't, like, a blonde.

Fancy footwork might sometimes be in question on So You Think You Can Dance, but Mary Murphy's shrill, repetitive screaming about tamale trains is an absolute. And if it's annoying to hear through your TV set, imagine what Kat Deeley goes through.

And then there's Regis Philbin, who spices up a pleasant morning on Live with Regis and Kelly with a little old-school, chauvinistic Sinatra-speak from a long-forgotten era when be-atches were still broads.

And one more thing, toots. Don't forget to tune in tonight at 10 p.m. ET/PT when Joel "Young Blue Eyes" McHale brings you a brand new Soup.

It's always a pleasure to watch E!, but a self-pleasure?

In an uncanny case of art imitating life, or just desserts or something, Joel McHale takes a bit of E! bashing on his NBC show Community.

Of course, he would have stuck up for his humble cable home if it were in the script.

Catch multitasking McHale on Community Thursdays at 8 p.m., and, even more importantly, watch him on The Soup tonight at 10 p.m.

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And if that's still not enough Joel, there's bucketloads more of the funnyman in the Soup blog video gallery.

Welcome to Ghost Lab, the latest edition in the paranormal-research reality-show canon.

Meaning another program with lots of spook talk, green night-vision video and no ghosts. GL also boasts a herd of Texas good ol' boy hosts in search of haints, specifically the spirit of John Wilkes Booth.

And what better bait for the dead assassin than a replica of the weapon he used to murder Abraham Lincoln, a plan that thrills these yokels to no end.

That way, ol' Johhny can return from the grave, grab his gun and, well, do what, exactly? Kill Lincoln's ghost? React to the fact that now there's a black president?

Suffice it to say this is actually scary, but for all the wrong reasons.

Move over, Rehab: Party at the Hard Rock Hotel, there's another reality show in town that offers a behind-the-scenes look at a bar with crowds of drunk d-bags, sexy women with low self-esteem and the folks who rake in big money off of it all.

And this one has motorcycles, be-atch.

The Full Throttle Saloon ("America's #1 Blue Collar Biker Bar"®—what bragging rights!) is apparently the place to be in Sturgis, South Dakota, when the legendary annual biker jubilee takes place.

And with waitresses who understand the value of dressing to please their patrons, we can see why it's all so, um, magical.

Here's the bad news, ladies: It's God-knows-how-long, lives in your intestines and can migrate into your lungs and liver to form damaging cysts before (hopefully) dying and leaving your body via your stool. One hell of an exit.

Now here's the good news: It'll make you runway-model thin!

Yes, it's Mr. Tapeworm, and in this edition of Tyra's information funhouse, we meet a lady dead-set on parasite-hosting to get that ravaged look that men apparently crave.

After a whole season, it's hard to believe that Ray J hasn't yet found the perfect, scantily clad vixen. Lovable stud that he is, the brother is still trudging the lonely path of passion into season two, searching for the woman to make him whole.

But have faith, for now there is a Bible-reading hottie among the gaggle of skanky would-be paramours.

And—much to the chagrin of the other ladies—she can make her legs do wondrously slutty things. God bless her.

R. Lee "Gunny" Ermey is a man of passion, especially when it comes to guns. For R., there's nothing like a sweet hunk of lead-spewing weaponry to get the man all worked up.

And, after an intense three-way with an M16 and a well-drilled target, ol' Gunny needs a nap. And perhaps a towel.

As Meredith Vieira points out, it's no secret that proud dads like to see their sons reflected in themselves. There's nothing cuter than matching haircuts and Hawaiian shirts, but why stop there?

Just imagine your pride years down the road when envious pals are admiring his stylishly snipped member and he can say, "Yep, it's just like my old man's!"