No child porn was found yet, but they did find some regular porn which is BOOOOORING. I mean, wouldn't some, like, really gross Nazi bondage porn or something be a fun find and also soooo Jared?
His loyalty to Subway is strong. Not a dime was used off this Schlotzsky's gift card. It did have weird stains on it though.
Looks like someone feels entitled to bring home supplies from the office. And why not? I mean, I have three cases of Soup rulers at home...I have a problem.
Actually not a big deal. He'll be able to finish it when he gets it back. There are enough preservatives in that sauce to keep a human body fresh for three days after death. Not like we know that from experience.
They found a dead rat in his kitchen cabinet. Probably just a random occurrence, but it was definitely gross.
Geez, fat Jared. How many pairs of jean do you need, bro?
Dang that's a pretty cool watch. Also kind of looks like something a child porn dude might wear. NOT SAYING IT IS! Not saying it is. Just floating that out there with no allusion to guilt.