So, this just happened: Ashley Tisdale turned 27 and took off most of her clothes.
That's what you do when you're in Malibu, are long and brown and look like a 19-year-old Cameron Diaz in a neon yellow fringe bikini.
Yes, there was also a pair of denim shorts involved but it took us a half hour of squinting into our microscopes to find it. We get it, Ashley, you and Heather Morris have bodies that double as national treasures, long may you reign.
But then came Selena Gomez...
And while she looked relatively prim compared with her BFF, her own set of enviable legs were on full display, thanks to this season's slavering obsession with subatomic-sized shorts. Other accessories for Justin Bieber's GF? A neon green peace-print tank and a cute little dog.
So what do you buy for a birthday girl who has it all? Other than, you know, pants?